While we were our way to an Indian restaurant for lunch and an Indian family walked right in front of our car as Jerry was driving:
"I'll let you live because we're obviously going to the same place, and that makes you cool."
(Incidentally, they sat beside us.)
Pulling into a parking space and seeing a woman in a horrendously wrinkled, stained flannel shirt:
"I can see you ironed your shirt on a sewer grate this morning."
Our first few steps into a sporting-goods store:
"I hate the smell of fitness places. Smells like willpower."