I'm a pretty upbeat person -- some might even say obnoxiously so -- but every once in awhile I get into temporary funks where I just don't feel like myself.
While I normally have enough energy to catapault me through an entire day, I find myself feeling lethargic and listless. Instead of being outgoing and talkative, I turn inward. I don't feel any desire to interact with the people around me and would rather stay in the familiarity of my own home. More specifically, plopped on the couch, tucked away from the world under a blanket, succumbing to my "blahs."
But the blahs never happen on a day I have off from work. They usually happen when I have plenty of responsibilities I can't ignore, no matter how badly I'd like to. So I end up stumbling through, getting more and more frustrated when people with good intentions ask me what the problem is.
I have yet to figure out what triggers these days or how to deal with them other than focusing on tomorrow. As rediculous as it sounds, sometimes all it takes is the promise of another day. A better day. A day filled with more potential.
Because no matter how hard I fight the feeling by taking a walk with my four-legged buddy, indulging in an extra long shower, listening to my favorite mood-lifting music or climbing into an outfit that always makes me feel empowered, nothing seems to help. It's like a dark fog settles around me and won't let go.
Even life's little positives don't seem to give me the same satisfaction. Normally I'm the type to appreciate every little unexpected pleasentry or favor. Small things like finding out Jerry emptied the dishwasher or bought groceries can make my day. But not on these days. They barely even register. I have a feeling that not even a visit by the Prize Patrol informing me that I've won Publisher's Clearinghouse would do the trick.
So I just sort of focus on one small task at a time. I try not to let my mind wander too far because I end up feeling overwhelmed and small.
The relief comes when I finally make my way into bed. Because I know the day is over.
And a new one will begin soon.