Thursday, February 8, 2007

Even my bone marrow feels tired

To describe my feeling of utter exhaustion can only be related to two periods in my life: pledging a sorority and buying a puppy.

This change has not been easy on me.

Mostly it's because I can't get a full night's rest. Toby has not adjusted very well, but I can't blame him. He goes to bed with Jerry at 6:30 or 7 p.m. and then is expected to sleep until 10 the next morning. Not even a sloth rests that long.

So, in addition to the 3 a.m. whine fest when Jerry leaves, Toby has usually had enough downtime by 9 a.m., stretching his front paws into my face, alerting me that it's time to get up. Even though I desperately need to remain in bed.

In total over the past four nights, I've probably gotten about 16 hours of really good rest. The kind where your body is nearly unresponsive and just concentrates on recharging.

In addition to my lack of sleep, I also made one of the worst decisions of my life and opted to renovate the guest bedroom this week. If I could rewind to Sunday when Jerry asked, "Is this really the best time to do this?" I would've said: "No. No it's not. I need an intervention. Help me put down this paintbrush."

Instead, in my desperate desire to see what that room looked like in a shade other than something reminiscent of an overweight canary exploding in it, leaving a jarring shade of yellow coating every wall surface in the room, including the ceiling, I pulled out the high-hiding primer and got to work clearing the room and laying down drop cloth.

At first, I thought I could roll the primer directly onto the drop ceiling. But those lightweight foam insulation squares kept popping up. So I enlisted Jerry's help and he pulled them down while I covered them in white. I had every intention of sticking them back up until I took my first look at the actual ceiling, eight inches up.

There were admittedly a few cracks. But it looked a lot like the dining room after we had stripped off the epilepsy-inducing wall paper a few months ago.

I could fix it.

So, a few hours before the Super Bowl, Jerry reluctantly pulled out his power drill and helped detach the metal grid that formed the drop ceiling, saying again "for the record" that he didn't think it was a good idea and "couldn't we have picked a better day to do this?"

Probably. But I'm obsessed. It was my project. I was determined.

Just raising the ceiling those few inches changed the entire feel of the room. It was less "high school classroom" and more "bedroom in an old Victorian house" -- a huge improvement already. I spent the next hour spackling the screw holes from the drop ceiling and covering the cracks. My arms were numb and my neck felt broken from looking up for so long, but it was going to look amazing and add a ton of value to our house.

The next morning, because I wasn't sleeping anyway, I went to the hardware store to buy a few gallons of lightweight plaster, mixed it with white paint and painstakingly refinished every surface in that room, including the ceiling. Jerry helped for a few hours when he got home, then, feeling dead on my feet, I went to work for the night.

The morning after that, despite a feeling of total exhaustion filling my pores and seeping right down into my bone marrow, I painted. One coat of white on the ceiling, two coats of light gray on the walls.

In the meantime, our entire house was a disaster. Here we are trying to adjust to an entirely new schedule and I had to go and make it harder by adding another stress into the mix. Not only were Jerry and I tiptoeing around in the dark trying not to wake the other person up -- him in the morning and me at night -- but we were also tiptoeing around a mattress, box spring and metal bed frame in the upstairs hallway, all of the furniture from the guest room, buckets of paint and plaster and a toolbox. I guess it was my penance to slam my right foot into the toolbox Tuesday night, sending me to my knees on the bedroom floor in an awkward silent pain, trying not stir the guys.

But it's done. The room is complete and the house is somewhat back to its pre-renovation state.

Sure, it looks fantastic, but I'm too exhausted to even enjoy it. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally drained to the point where I would consider taking a personal day if I was the type to use them as personal days rather than planned vacation days. Or, to put it another way, if I was in college, I'd be skipping my classes today to lay on my couch and eat a tube of store-bought cookie dough with a spoon.

Is this week over yet?


Heidi said...

Wow, you sound exactly like me. When I have something in mind, I will go for it no matter how exhausted I am. As for the personal day ... well, I've been running myself into the ground so much that I came home from work today...sick. Take care of yourself, Kelly!

Pauline said...

If I were you, I'd take that personal day before you have to take it. Because your sick. Things will get better, it's just a matter of adjusting. =]

Janice said...

Wow, that's horrible. I'm not sure if I could take that much lack of sleep! It's awesome that the guest bedroom looks great and is finished now though!

Leslie said...

You were only that exhausted and sleepless when you pledged in college? How did you do it?

Being a journalism major, I have classes and I have the paper. I'm the news editor at the student paper. Between the two I don't get more than six (at the most) hours of sleep each night. This week it's more like four. I don't get to read for my classes or study much and I barely have enough time for homework...

(Although I think I may have aced the two tests I had this week and I didn't study for more than an hour and a half to two hours for either one.)

Did you have a similar experience? If so, how did you deal with it?

Kristin said...

Yikes... that's a lot of change all at once. Here's to hoping the new schedule gets easier for you adn Toby :) said...

It's weeks like this that make me wish I had an actual weekend.

One day off a week just isn't enough to sort out the shit that builds up. Especially when it likes to wait all at once instead of gradually crapping on you a little at a time.

Anonymous said...

that sounds really rough. but just like those college will pull through. and despite your dead brain cells, you'll probably even ace the test.

gorakagaz said...

aww..feel better. we'd like to see pictures of your hard work, though. i'm sure it looks fabulous. :] i'm like that, too-- i realize after the fact that it may not have been the best time to do something.

Tina P. said...

Why don't you start keeping toby up for a couple hours?
Actually i'm sure you considered this... i'm sure you've considered everything but i wish the best for you girlfriend hopefully everything is going AT LEAST a little better since the room is done.

natalie said...

i wanna see pictures!!! :-)

Melissa Kennedy said...

Yeah, where's the pictures??

Definitely take a personal day!! You deserve it!

BensonsMom said...

It's nice to hear one of us finished their project. Yes, pictures please!!

And as for the change in schedule... hubby and I go through the same thing when my weekend to work rolls around, though we are only off by a few hours and our pups don't get too bad... usually. See if Jer would be up for getting up an hour earlier to tire Toby out with a long walk before you get home, then maybe he'd rest better with you. It'll take a while to get into a new groove.

the awake plainsman said...

Spackling, painting and a wordsmith, too! Sometimes those projects won't wait. In a way, good that you didn't give in to the situation. "You will be master of the new schedule sooner that you expect." That last sentence sounds more like one found inside of a fortune cookie. But has the ring of truth, too.

Ray said...

I think we have SUPER WOMAN on our hands! You need some rest, and I really suggest you take a day off. But don't worry this week will soon be over. By next week I hope your not exhausted. And when you have the time (I'm not rushing you, =p)I'd love to see pics of that new renovation.

Take care Kelly and here's to hoping you find more sleep, because it seems like you NEED it!

*Marilynmonroe4u2nv from Xanga.*

jsi said...

I can tell you are beat, you are TIRED. Big work, and hopefully giving you the fire power of a presence you wanted!

Ray said...

P.S. I just finished looking at all your renovation pictures of the house and it's GORGEOUS! You've really done a great job. I hope to make my place as nice as yours when I get my own apartment.

Well take care, and happy sleeping. ;o)

Tiffany said...

I think you definitely deserve the personal day!

Where are the pictures of the new guest room? It sounds beautiful!

Molly said...

Do you have before and after pictures of the room? I love seeing all the progress you guys have made.

aahcoffee from xanga said...

Besides the lack of sleep, could you be pregnant?