Monday, February 19, 2007

Hooterriffic

Hooters waitresses are people, too.

Sometimes it's hard to look past their blindingly shiny orange short shorts and low-cut tanks on the billboards, but there are real people lurking underneath all those marketing ploys.

I know because I went to Hooters for wings last night.

It wasn't my first Hooters experience. A few of my guy friends suckered me into going when I was a freshman in college. I think they thought it would be funny to see me, a fiercely independent female college student neck-deep in women's-lib courses, duke it out with girls who have no qualms about relying on their physical endowments for tips. I know it sounds harsh, but lets face it, Hooters is the strip club of chain restaurants.

So there I was, angry that we weren't, in fact, going to the fun rain forest restaurant in the mall closest to my college campus like they promised, but rather the testosterone-driven beer and boob fest that is Hooters.

I don't remember much other than the wings were surprisingly good. And that it was impossible not to stare at our waitress' chest because it was practically heaving out of her shirt at she struggled to breathe beneath all that Lycra.

This time around was much the same. The wings were just as good as I remembered and our waitress' chest was appropriately Hooterriffic.

I went with a few of my coworkers when they invited me along, and despite the stereotypes that it's geared toward guys, I'm pretty sure it's my boss' favorite restaurant. She loves hot wings and has taken a new interest in NASCAR, so off we went to grab dinner with one of the photographers who was scheduled to work the weekend shift.

At first, our waitress was all business: perky, polite and a bit flirty -- even with a majority female table.

"Yeah, it's impossible not to stare when they're right out there, huh?" I asked the rest of the group after she took our drink order.

They agreed.

But after an accidental slip up, I saw the real person beneath the Hooters.

I was mid-story when our waitress was delivering our food, and right when she was about to ask if we needed anything, my story included a giant "Shut up!"

And she did. She clamped her mouth tight, visibly stiffened and just sort of stared at me, wondering why I would say something so rude for no apparent reason.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean you! ... I was just telling a story and ... I guess it came out at the wrong time!"

She played it off like she knew it all along, but we shared a moment. Me and the Hooters girl. I made a joke and she laughed. We were friends.

I'm still appalled that someone, probably an entire executive board of men, has deep pockets because young girls have boobs and are willing to shimmy into revealing uniforms. But, well, they could choose to work at Olive Garden or Red Lobster. But they don't.

So I guess I shouldn't judge.

And if I can find a bumper sticker that says, "Hooters have feelings, too" ... I'm so buying it.

8 comments:

ajandmac said...

haha. you should just make one:

www.makestickers.com

the snowbound Plainsman said...

"...girls who have no qualms about relying on their physical endowments for tips." Well, the chain you mentioned certainly has no monopoly on that, and many waitpersons of either sex, as well as salsespersons, have always used their charms to increase sales and tips. However, at least at the Hooters chain, for example, everyone, both the help and the customers are up front about it and knows what to expect!

Yes, make the bumper stickers and sell them along with the "TOBY Callendar." Incidently, instead of waiting until the end of the year, why not start the "TOBY Callendar" with the first month being the month of his birtday? A "Novelle" idea, perhaps!

Ray said...

I would never go to a restaurant like that, for that VERY reason. It's sexist, and I consider myself a BIG FEMINIST when it comes to do that. I'm all for woman's rights and woman being treated with respect no matter the circumstance. But men are DOGS, so there's nothing you can really do about it.

Anyway, that sticker idea is cool. You should really do it, I'd bet you'd make lots of money.

Take care, Kelly.

Janice said...

That's a completely different way of looking at things. Though I think that restaurant is indeed sexist, what isn't sexist these days? Most people will twist anything to make it sound sexist or racist. But anyway, really good story. Good perspective and you should make a bumper sticker!

Emilee said...

my boyfriend in high school took me to a hooter's once [against my will] and i completely hated it. it was mortifying having our waitress hit on my boyfriend with her double d's and me with my a cups. we got in a big fight afterwards and he told me that the only reason he took me there was to show me what "real women look like." needless to say, we broke up. but i agree, the hotwings were delicious. =]

Anonymous said...

Hooters scares me. Nonetheless, I am not going to judge a girl for working there; that's just ignorant.

Randall said...

I agree... and I now from personal experience golf course beer cart girls have feelings too. Hehe.

Oh, Nick and I went out the other night and told him that it was the best.thai.chicken.salad.ever. Thought of you and your recent dining experience!

ajandmac said...

ps. you've basically inspired me with an actual desire to go eat some wings at Hooters, but i feel like taking MYSELF there would just be completely graceless and tacky, so...my goal is to make some friends that would think it was funny to take me there.

how's that for inspiring your readers? :)