Oh this is bad. Very bad. Filled with much badness.
I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime after college when my roommates could've had a kegger right in my room and I was disciplined enough to sleep right through it if I needed to, I turned into a light sleeper.
And it sucks. Especially now that Jerry needs to get up at 3 a.m.
Ironically, I was more worried about Toby. I thought for sure he would be absolutely beside himself that Jerry was leaving before they had ample "toss the fluffy things around" time. And this was a concern of merit. On the rare occasions that Jer has left the house before I'm up, Toby throws a fit. He whines. Then he jumps off the bed and runs to the window only to see that Jerry's car is gone, retreats to me and whines some more as if to convey his profound feeling of loss.
If I'm lucky enough to sleep through Jerry running around and getting ready, I'm certainly not able to sleep through Toby pouncing on me and laying on top of my face to make sure that I don't abandon him, too. I'm pretty sure Toby thinks that if he throws all of his 10 or so pounds on my head, I'll just lay beneath him for eternity. Because who could resist his furry ass? Especially that up close and personal.
In preparation for the start of Jerry's morning show today, we got up relatively early on Sunday. Well, for us anyway. And instead of accepting any of the Super Bowl party invitations we received, we opted to have a low-key day in pajamas and make a vat of slow-cooked chili for the big game. And when it was over? Lights out. That would give Jerry about five hours of sleep.
I'm not sure how we did it seeing that we normally go to bed at 3 a.m., but we did. Jerry made his lunch during the half-time show, set out some clothes for the next day and set his alarm.
When it went off, touting the Rocky theme song, I whispered "good morning" in the darkness. I'm not sure if it was because he didn't sleep at all or if it was out of sheer adrenaline, but Jerry popped up and hit the shower before the snooze button. He kissed me goodbye, I wished him luck and he shut the bedroom door behind him.
Much to my surprise, Toby didn't even stir. I far underestimated his laziness, even when up against his loyalty. I could practically hear his thoughts: "Wha? Where are you going? Aw, screw this. The sun isn't even up. Yeah, I'll be in bed if you need me."
I, on the other hand, was trying to ignore my bladder. At that point, I realized why going to bed early had been so easy for me. A few glasses of wine tends to have that effect on people. So I just willed myself to stay in bed. To concentrate on sleep. Not getting up.
But that didn't last long. My head kicked into high gear and started thinking about all the things I have to do today. Stupid me. Why did I have to decide to renovate the guest bedroom yesterday? I need spackle. And one of those wall reinforcers for that one chunk of plaster that fell off when we removed the drop ceiling. Maybe two for that weak spot above the door. And was gray the best color choice? Too late now. I wonder if I plugged in the backup drill charger battery. If not, I'll do it first thing when I get up. And how are we going to get rid of all of that metal from the ceiling? Will they take that with the trash? Will it even fit down the stairs without bending the long ones in half? And what the hell ever happened to my perfect black dress? Seriously. I cleaned out my entire closet and can't find it anywhere. It's been missing for months now. Did it even make the move? I remember ... wait a minute ...
And in my crazy delirium of random thoughts, I had an epiphany. The little black dress that I've been wondering where the hell I put it is probably on the back of the bedroom door. Underneath Jerry's tan suit that needs to be dry cleaned. Because we wore those outfits to our friend's wedding in June.
Sure enough, when my thoughts forced me out of bed at a completely unreasonable hour, I found the dress.
And Toby? Still in bed. The bastard didn't even flinch. I could have a kegger in the bedroom right now and he'd sleep right through it.
So yeah, this pretty much sucks. It's not even 6 a.m. and I work the night shift. Bah. Maybe tomorrow will be easier. Out of sheer exhaustion.
On the bright side, I get to tune into Jerry's inaugural morning show.
And plug in that stupid drill battery.