Did you know that videotaping is as addicting as crack? Not that I've ever tried crack, of course, but all those early morning drug busts and the hideous mug shots that follow tell me that crack must be pretty powerful stuff to make you risk being paraded around in public complete with handcuffs and eye crust.
Fortunately, owning and operating a camcorder isn't illegal. Because I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of that in the coming weeks.
I got my first taste of it this morning. My parents came down to visit for a few days and even though I risked my life by hitting the record button while they were both still in their bathrobes and slippers, they merely shouted idle threats and mostly amused be because, well, now I have bribery footage. And they better stay on my good side.
Then, after that, I taped the most boring video of all time: Toby eating. And the camera sort of shakes while I'm trying to stifle my laughter. I don't know why I find it amusing. Maybe it's because he never eats above his dish and prefers, instead, to keep an eye on whoever is home. As if we might run out the door and abandon him if he looks away for even a second. So he just sort of gulps a huge mouthful, turns around to face where I sit nearby on the steps, scatters everything on the floor then eats each kibble one at a time.
And I find it hilarious. Hilarious enough that I thought it would be video worthy, apparently.
Which it's not. Not in the slightest.
Maybe once I figure out how to load it to my computer, I'll let you all see how terrible it is. I can't believe for one second that I actually thought anyone would want to see what I film. And now I have the utmost appreciation for TV and movies. Because how the hell they come up with a concept and make millions of people tune in is beyond me. I'm not sure I have an audience of one. I'm not even sold on my own two measly videos yet.
But one thing's for sure. It's fun. So fun that as it started snowing two seconds ago, I actually considered going outside and taping it. Why? Because I can.
I'd title it, "Snow at My House ... Because I Can."
And I promise only to make you suffer through my creations on occasion.
Once I figure out how to bring "Toby Eating" to the masses, of course.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.