Just for the record, the pickle juice-chugging contest was not an isolated incident. Jerry, on a regular basis asks, "What will you give me if I _________." Mostly it includes ingesting strange substances like our leftover solidified bacon grease, chugging a glass of gravy or sometimes it carries over to our grocery trips where he randomly holds up a can of salted pig lips in the international aisle with a gleam in his eye.
My answer is always the same: "Nothing." Why? Because I know he'll do it. He needs no incentive from me. His mere love of the absurd and thrill of a good dare is reason enough.
In fact, on one of our very first dates, we went to an all-day outdoor concert event. During one particularly less-than-thrilling act, we opted to take a walk and see if we could scrounge up a slice of pizza. On our way, we passed a church trying to take advantage of the huge crowds by holding a fundraiser. A donut-eating contest fundraiser.
Jerry took one look at the contestants and said, "I've got this."
A few minutes later, I was watching him stuff entire donuts into his mouth at a time, smearing glaze all over his face and hands, loving every second of it. It was at that moment that I likened his head to a Muppet. It hinges at his jaw, opening up his entire face. And, incidentally, he won. By more than an entire dozen.
So when he noticed that I had eaten the rest of the pickles during our lunch together yesterday, I should've known not to sarcastically suggest that he drink the juice.
"What'll you give me?"
It immediately turned into a dare. After he spent about 15 minutes making fun of me for finishing the pickles, that is. He called me a wood chipper. I LIKE PICKLES OKAY? Always have. Kosher dills. I don't know what makes them kosher -- I guess the way the cucumbers are slaughtered -- but back off. They're salty and awesome and, well, awesome. It's every man for himself in this house when it comes to food.
After he tired of the wood chipper joke, he got really quiet and said, "No. Seriously. What'll you give me?"
But when he picked up the jar with determination I screamed "WAIIIIT!" I mean, at least let me get the video camera. Sheesh.
And I'm glad I did. That video is so Jerry. Particularly his showmanship. I laugh out loud every time I watch him wave his arm as if to mentally prepare himself for the task ahead. Then about to take a sip ... Nope. Not yet. Another arm wave just for good measure. Then he takes a deep breath and squints his eyes shut like he's about to cannonball into a frozen lake.
If I get nothing else out of that video camera, I'd say it already paid for itself.