Friday, April 6, 2007

Annual egg-dying debacle

Last night, we decided to decorate Easter eggs. Jerry had purchased two dye kits: a SpongeBob-themed one because, oh, he completely abhors the show, and a crazy awesome paint-it-yourself one that made my creations look so awesome that I momentarily considered quitting my job and selling boiled egg art for a living.

As usual, Jerry announced that he would be making an egg for "everyone," which usually means he busts out the wax pencil, scrawls a name on an egg and dunks it in a color he thinks is indicative of that individual. Toby got orange and a creepy lamb sticker that sort of looked like him if he had an enormous coat of wool. I got a blue one that was supposed to be purple, but the dye sucked. Then he made a general one for both of our moms that actually used the blue dye.

When he put a fourth one down and announced that everyone was taken care of, I figured he had made one for himself. Instead, I looked at our drying spot -- a cooling rack with a cookie tray underneath -- to see he had labeled a yellow egg "FETUS."

"Aw, of course, fetus!" I said.

But he couldn't leave it at that.

"Maybe I should make that one better," he said. "It's too boring."

Then he proceeded to pick up the fetus egg and drop it on the table, causing the shell to crack on impact.

"YOU JUST DROPPED OUR BABY!" I yelled, laughing.

A very concerned look spread across his face. "Aw, man!"

"It's a good thing you never had to carry around an egg in school for home-ec class or you would've failed!"

"Now what? Do I eat that one and make another one for the fetus?"

"YOU WANT TO EAT OUR FETUS?!"

"Wait, I ..."

"AND YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE ANOTHER ONE IF YOU DROP THIS ONE, RIGHT? I MEAN, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!"

I guess I just couldn't resist having a little fun at his expense. I mean, the situation was just too full of analogies not to take advantage.

As is tradition, we stood back and assessed our creations when we were finished and picked out our favorite egg.

The fetus egg won hands down.

Flaws and all.

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This photo just needs a thought bubble: Decisions, decisions ...


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Toby was being so good that we let him sit at the table with us.


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Our two-dozen creations.


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My bargain river rocks.


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Our nut bowl is all dressed up for Easter!


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And I know two Toby photos might be a bit of an overkill,
but this one came out too funny not to share.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two Toby photos is not overkill when they are both that full of personality.

Suzy said...

That last picture of Toby is SO cute!!

ajandmac said...

oh my gosh! you are so stinking hilarious!

1- i am SUCH a fan of you two coloring eggs together! that is so FUN, and CUTE, and so....YOU.

2- the fetus egg outbursts are just seriously hilarious!

thanks so much for sharing your crazy life with all of us. i love it!

Kristin said...

How fun! I need to start getting more into the spirit of holidays.

Julie said...

No such thing as too much Toby.

Pauline said...

1) Too much Toby? Never.
2) The Fetus egg conversation is hilarious. Once a fetus egg, always a fetus egg, haha.
3) I can definitely tell which eggs were yours. Nice job! Mine come out like Jerry's. Sad, sad.
4) Love the river rock flower vase!

www.xanga.com/nothingbeast said...

Heh heh.... Nut bowl.

It's still funny.

Have you seen South Park's Fabulous Easter Episode?

Very funny stuff showing the relationship between the Easter Bunny and Jesus Christ.

Best line in the show? Pope Benedict telling Bill Donahue "I don't think killing Christ is very.... Christian."

Good stuff indeed. :)

Chelsea said...

I love the fetus egg & I love how you decorate! Toby is too cute

Gisela said...

these remind me of that time when you and jer just started dating and we made cookies for the QWK guys for Valentine's and we wrote bad words on them and "STOP PLAYING OZZIE" and "OZZIE SUCKS"

haha, memories :-D

lilyny said...

A very belated congratulations!!! And the photos are lovely!!

Emilee said...

My favorites are the yellow polka-dotted and flower eggs. And the last picture of Toby is hilarious!

And as for your last post -- it's snowing in Colorado too. But I think it's because I decided to wear shorts yesterday. And then today it decides to snow 2-4 inches. I swear, Mother Nature is laughing at people like us.

Janice said...

Fetus... I laughed so hard. :)

Tina P. said...

So, in case you didn't know -which I'm sure you do- It's pretty obvious which eggs are yours and which ones are Jerrys.

jsi said...

It's a good thing the girls in this species get to carry the eggs. We'd all be born scrambled and cracked if it was up to the guys.
What a terrific time you've had creating your Eastertide decorations. We are this afternoon - it'll be terrific but not half as much fun as you have had already.

"I just can't make another one" - its a giggly response and a serious approach - there are no do overs. Gotta be careful. And in saying that, all of my babies had some form of head injury or rolled down the stairs or off the couch. Scary moments, and a chance to for me to reflect "How can I ever do this?"
Help Jerry know, he will see this egg dropping experience inreal life, some how, this is just future preparation for how it may feel sitting in the ER. Get yourself ready and steady.

Happy Easter!

Ray said...

Those eggs are all two cute. I find it nice that you two still have a child-like feel to you both, that you can still paint eggs and have a great time. You guys are going to make awesome parents I'm sure. And thank goodness that egg wasn't the real deal or Jerry would have been in trouble. ;o)

Jennifer said...

The toby picture is the best. omg he looks SOOOOO cute!! You should submit that to cuteoverload.com I bet you they'd post it