This chain of events frees me to write in peace, without a little dog jamming his face between the desk and my knees and pawing at my legs incessantly until I pick him up. It also frees me from having to type around a 13-pound body on my lap while it stretches to sniff at my orange juice glass, then gives up and circles and circles until it finds a spot to collapse and make my legs go numb. And it later frees me from having to play tug-of-war with my feet when he eventually brings over his stuffed rainbow trout and wants me to step on it while he tries to free it with his teeth. Over. and. over. again.
And all of this would be great if I didn't want to do a picture post today of some of the photos I took during our Easter celebration yesterday at my mother-in-law's house. Because, the thing is, my camera is downstairs. And if I even think about walking down the steps to get it, even entertain the thought for more than just a fleeting moment, Toby will spring to life.
Why? Because I might be going to the kitchen. And that is where the food is. Or, worse, I might be going to the door. To abandon him. Forever and ever. And ever.
So, here I sit, trying to take advantage of this rare Toby-free morning, and all I can think to post about is those Easter photos. And maybe how the new pastor at Jerry's church somehow worked in a story about demons and hell during her, um, interesting sermon about the rebirth of Christ.
Aw hell (and demons), I can't sit upstairs all day.
Let the crazy begin.
This photo will forever make me laugh. Why? Because moments
earlier, Jerry had taken a photo with me. And he is so used to sliding
his hand down my back and grabbing my ass during posed photos
that he momentarily forgot he was standing next to his mother.
And here's Jerry in the most bargain shirt and tie I've ever purchased.
The tie was 40 percent off and I had a free $10 store grand-opening
coupon. The shirt was originally $52, but it was on clearance for
(drum roll please): $8! I know, I know. I amaze even myself sometimes.