Today I am 15 weeks along, feeling absolutely wonderful and overly excited about my second trimester. In exactly one month, we have an ultrasound appointment scheduled with hopes of finding out whether we're having a boy or a girl. And the anticipation is indescribable.
I waiver on which I would prefer, or as Jerry puts it, "If I could go to a baby store and pick one off the shelf ..."
I've heard people say that a woman's intuition is usually pretty accurate in determining gender, but I honestly don't have a strong sense either way. My dreams are the most vivid they've ever been in my entire life and I often dream about babies -- rescuing one out of a car trunk, finding one in the grass while on a walk with Toby or even adopting -- but it never has a gender. The only ongoing similarities are that it's big and healthy and only wearing a diaper.
I guess this indicates that I'd be more than content either way.
I can easily picture having boy. Forming his hair into a tiny baby mohawk and teaching him to be strong and use his head and open his heart to love beyond reason. Someone to help hang the Christmas lights and bake cookies with on weekends. To grow up to do and be what he wants with our gentle guidance.
On the other hand, I can easily picture having a girl. Forming her hair into a tiny baby mohawk and teaching her to be strong and use her head and open her heart to love beyond reason. Someone to help hang the Christmas lights and bake cookies with on weekends. To grow up to do and be what she wants with our gentle guidance.
And maybe that's why I don't care either way. I don't see life being too different just because of gender. Sure, after general socialization, a girl might gravitate more toward Dora dolls while a boy might identify more with Jimmy Neutron, but I really hope I can be the kind of parent who teaches a boy how to sew on a button and teaches a girl how to change a tire.
Yes, I would like to have a relationship with a daughter like the one I have with my mother. Someone to talk with, swap recipes with, share decorating ideas with and go marathon shopping with. I would love to have little pink dresses around and hair ties and shiny flower fingernail stickers. I think I would have a lot of advice and life lessons to share with a girl.
I would also like to have a relationship like the one Jerry has with his mother. Someone to talk with, to help lift things she can no longer manage, to shovel snow or volunteer to put together her patio furniture. I would love to have another football fan in the house (although he better like the Steelers or Daddy's heart will break).
All that said, I know we will treat a boy or girl differently no matter how hard we fight against it. According to some of the literature I've read, it happens in subtle ways like letting a boy cry a little bit longer or coddling a girl a little more. Not to mention that I already envision the nursery in the traditional pink or blue.
But if our son wants to learn how to sew? I'll pull out my machine. If our daughter wants a skateboard? We'll get her one.
I'm not sure why I want to know our child's sex so badly. Probably because it's the one thing we have the opportunity to find out. I'll have to wait to see what color eyes they'll have, whether their hair will be curly or straight, what type of disposition they'll have.
I guess that's why children are called one of life's greatest gifts: There are so many surprises.