Sunday, May 6, 2007

Phone conversation before Jerry's pay-per-view boxing party

"Um, I have some 'oops' news."

"Oops news?"

"Yeah, as in, 'Oops! I ate all of the Doritos you got for your party.'"

"YOU ATE THE WHOLE BAG?"

"Well, in my defense, I made it through most of the afternoon. I didn't cave until almost 3 o'clock."

"YOU ATE THE WHOLE BAG?"

"Well, not the whole bag, but definitely more than half of it. I saved you guys some."

"I would just like to point out that if I had eaten any of your desserts before the bridal shower you threw last weekend, you would've killed me."

"Yeah, but that's different. That chocolate pie thing took two hours. A bag of Doritos takes two seconds."

"I'm just pointing out the discrepancy."

"Well, you can take it up with our baby when it's born."

"Oh yeah?"

"Well, I figure I haven't had or wanted Doritos in about, oh, two years. And now, all of a sudden, I HAD to have them ... so yeah, it was the baby. The baby likes Doritos."

"Well, I'll just stop at the store on my way home and get another bag."

"Cool ranch."

"What?"

"Get the cool ranch flavor. The baby totally likes those better than the original nacho cheese."

18 comments:

the plainsman's cornerman said...

I'm surprised there have not been rants here on how you should be feeding baby carrots, peas and walnuts and other healthy things! (Disclaimer, I do not know if those listed items are actually healthy for babies in progress!) But babies know what they want, and on fight day, it was Doritos!
A funny, classic post!

Lovechild420 said...

I had a cool ranch Dorito phase myself.. Over half a bag a day :)

lovechild420 said...

PS.. Old Navy has wonderful maternity clothes! The best jeans by far.. and Motherhood is good, too. Since you have a job & need nicer outfits..

Amy said...

I can tell "It was the baby"
is going to be a main excuse
over the next few months haha
use it for all it's worth!

Chelsea said...

But baby wants it! hahaha!

Tiffany said...

Haha... baby has good taste! :-)

Molly said...

Man, now I have to go out and grab a bag of cooler ranch. I love those things.

Pauline said...

Doritos are sounding really good right now. Definitely Cool Ranch.

wissh said...

Second pregnancy it was Ring Dings. Beware.

Emilee said...

Baby has good taste, Cool Ranch are definitely my favorite. But Baby should also try the Salsa Verde flavor, those are pretty delicious.

Anonymous said...

you should check out http://www.doritos.com. it's such a cool website. it's like playing a video game.

julie said...

hahahaha
i like your style of writing-its really different :)

Ray said...

That has to be the most 'freaking' cutest conversation EVER! My father went over to a family members house as well to watch the fight. But your baby's got good taste, "I LOVE DORITOS!" Yum.

Take care, Kelly.

*I've been trying to get on your site countless times today, but my stupid ass of a computer wouldn't let me. Finally now it stopped acting like a bitch. Hehe.*

Ray said...

P.S. I think it's, "Awesome" that at 13 weeks your baby is already practicing how to smile, grimace, frown and squint. And from your conversations "a la" the outside world, I'm pretty sure your babe is doing a lot of smiling. ;o)

about gilda said...

is it weird that i'm cracing doritos too, even if i'm NOT pregnant!!!?!? :)

congrats on the baby.

and ps: i hope you find some good looking maternity clothes.

Kristin said...

Tell Jerry the consequences of not giving the baby what it wants would be far worse than an empty bag of dorritos :)

Jennifer said...

haha! SO cute

ajandmac said...

my mom craved cool ranch doritos with my little brother. for a long time. we ALWAYS had bags of them in the house.