That's it. I'm never voluntarily doing anything nice on my own volition ever again. I won't plan a party for someone who ends up not coming. I won't help old ladies find a parking spot. And I certainly won't tell someone that the hose on the side of their house is leaking water everywhere.
I, Kelly, hearby vow to look the other way when good Samaritanship calls.
Why? Because it only bites me in the ass. And I'm starting to get the feeling that even the people I'm helping don't really care.
Yesterday, while Jerry and I took our afternoon walk with Toby, we passed a house with a very well-manicured lawn. As I was admiring the landscaping, I noticed that the spout on the side of the house with a coiled hose attached was spurting mass quantities of water. No one was in sight and, judging by the size of the puddle that had formed, it looked like it had been running for days.
"Ooh, I'd want someone to knock on our door if that was happening at our house," I said to Jerry. "Just for the water bill alone."
I think I detected a hint of an eye roll before Jerry responded, but I think he knows I wouldn't have been able to continue our walk without obsessing about it. So he agreed.
He held Toby as I walked up the porch and rang the bell. After waiting for what seemed like an inordinate amount of time, I peeked inside through the stained glass window flanking the door and saw someone coming down the steps.
Jerry, meanwhile, assuming no one was home, had walked around to the spout and simply turned it off.
An older woman opened the door and stared at me as if to say, "THIS BETTER BE GOOD." Judging by a matted area of hair and her cranky disposition, it was very clear that I had awoken her from an afternoon nap. Great.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but my husband and I were walking by and noticed that the hose on the side of your house is leaking water everywhere," I said. "We figured you'd want to know."
She didn't flinch or speak, just stormed down the steps and beelined to the problem area.
She met Jerry mid-lawn, who explained that he thought no one was home and turned off the spout.
"I just got that hose," she said angrily. "It was the most expensive one."
That was pretty much it. I think we pissed her off.
And I'm pretty sure she put the nail in the coffin of my inner Girl Scout.