Wednesday, June 13, 2007

To dream perchance to sleep

Ugh. I'm just so damn tired. Last night was by far the worst night sleep ever. In the history of sleeping.

After hours of fighting an achy back, a wildly thumping baby (which now feels like it's banking a basketball off of my abdominal wall), intermittent thunderstorms, getting up to pee and struggling with my favorite T-shirt that suddenly feels absolutely constricting, Toby woke up at the foot of the bed, walked over my entire body, flopped down in my armpit, took up half my pillow and started snoring loudly, exhaling his nasty-ass doggy breath inches from my face.

At that point I gave up on any hopes of returning to sleep and started laughing uncontrollably.

Toby didn't even stir.

Asshole.

16 comments:

julie said...

That just made me laugh. I needed that. Sorry you didn't sleep though. Glad you can laugh about it though.

Melinda Hale said...

If you can't sleep, just make sure Jerry can't sleep either...

Fair is fair! :)

Leslie said...

Aww, inconsiderate Toby!

plainsman, cub reporter said...

June 13, 2007: Altoona, PA: An area pregnant woman was arrested today for assauting a Panera employee for no apparant reason. Witnesses said that the woman, (who's name has been withheld to protect the unborn child), punched the cashier in the face after being asked if she wanted anything to drink with her order, a portobello melt. Muttering incoherently after her arrest, she kept repeating the word's "pee" and "Toby," obviously her boyfriend's name. Police suspected she must have been under the influence. When later asked about the disposition of the case, the prosecutor's office said that with no priors, she would probably be sentenced to a short term in that new half-way house just opened in the old neighborhood. Toby could not be reached for comment. ###

julie said...

Bahaha!!! Plainsman cracks me up!!!

diane said...

I feel you since I'm also pregnant. I don't understand why all my friends who went through the same ordeal kept telling me to keep drinking water when my bladder couldn't even hold it down. And that sleeping problem too.

leogirl827 said...

I'm sorry you couldn't sleep but that was really funny :-) I loved the last part about Toby.

And also, plainsman's comment was funny :-) Totally made me laugh.

Suzy said...

something about little dogs and bad breath! I've got bigger dogs, and none of them really have stinky breath...but my Granny's daschund? Oh my...she'll reek you out!
Sorry for no sleep!! Try to catch a nap somehow!

Chelsea said...

Hope you sleep better tonight! Why is that dog's breath is also worst when your sleeping, haha!

Aisha said...

hahaha... and he probably thought he was making you feel better!

Rachel said...

Tough night! I hope the achy back goes away. I had that really bad for a couple weeks here and there in my pregnancy. Then it would suddenly go away, so I hope you experience the same thing! And I asked my doc last week about laying on my back to stretch, and she said it is fine (I really needed it for my back). She said the restrictions about being on your back are meant more for big women with multiples. However, if you feel faint or nauseous, you should get onto your side ASAP. Hope tonight goes better!

Ray said...

Toby's such the gentlemen. ;o) I've had a few shitty nights of sleep myself, where I can't get to sleep probably because of too much television. Granted your night was probably a lot worse. Here's to hoping you find that much needed sleep.

Sweet dreams, Kelly.

Kristin said...

Lol, I'm so sorry about that. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, if this was the worst sleep ever in the history of sleeping, it's highly unlikely that you'll ever have a sleep that's worse than it =]

-KrIsTiN-

Erica Melko Melko said...

And the title was quoted by one of my favorite literary works of all time (thus far in my life). Sorry, I'm a complete book nerd and got really excited when I read the title, then felt really bad about the sleep issue because although I have never in fact experienced pregnancy, I periodically suffer from insomnia.

I hope you find something that works to get you to sleep. Do anything that might relax you I suppose... classical music, bubble baths, locking the dog out of the room, envisioning dry dry deserts... you know, anything that may help.

erica said...

I swear I only typed in my first name. I do not recall typing my last name. I especially do not recall typing my last name twice. What kind of neurotic person would do that? erica melko melko... wow, I even surprise myself sometime

ajandmac said...

haha. wow. that sounds pretty rough. keep hanging in there! only 149 days to go!