Sunday, July 29, 2007

The reality of my due date

Our good friends Jen and David just purchased their first house a few days ago, and in the ensuing craziness that usually follows all of that paperwork, they asked to borrow our computer for a few moments Saturday afternoon to print out and sign one more addendum for their real estate agent.

When they came over, I led them up to our home office/soon-to-be nursery/catch-all room to explain the few quirks with our sometimes finicky printer.

And, being that it is in the process of becoming a little girl's room, there are signs of that change all around -- mostly in the form of tiny pink things and a growing collection of children's books.

Jen, of course, owning a set of ovaries, stopped abruptly at the door and started fingering all of the little onesies we've collected, exclaiming how cute they are.

David, of course, owning a set of testicles, tried to feign interest.

"So when are you due again?" he asked.

"November 10th."

His eyes grew wide. "Oh man, that's a SATURDAY."

"Wow. You're good," I said. "And I thought I was counting down a little prematurely. You were able to pick the day of the week out of your back pocket. I'm impressed."

"Well, it's a Penn State game day," he said.

And suddenly it all made sense. Around here, when I tell women I'm due in November, they immediately eye my belly and make a snap judgement as to whether or not it is an acceptable size for how far along I am. When I tell men I'm due in November, they automatically think of football season and how my going into labor might possibly affect a GAME DAY.

Right.

"How's Jerry feel about that?" David asked, smiling.

To his credit, David worships his alma matter. And, like many other PSU grads around the country, a big part of that worship centers around the football stadium in the form of season tickets and tailgating. There is a saying around here that Penn State fans bleed blue and white. And if there's anyone who if cut open started leaking a stream of those colors (and maybe even burst fourth in the fight song as if it was bottled up in his heart), it would be David.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't care how he feels about it," I said with a smirk.

"And if you're a little late, you might go the next day during a Steeler's game."

Nevermind what I might be doing. That I might be mid-crap when I start feeling labor pains. Or maybe driving on the highway when the first pangs strike and the shock is so great that I have to really concentrate not to wreck my car into a concrete bridge abutment, taking out my one mode of transportation to get to the hospital for help delivering an 8-pound being OUT OF MY VAGINA.

Yeah, THAT would be no big deal. But if my water breaks right as Troy Polamalu catches an interception? UNACCEPTABLE. I might as well scoop it up and put it back in. The birth of our first child can wait until the buzzer rings at the end of the fourth quarter.

I mean, my uterus should at least try to be considerate.

And I might as well promise now to do my best to bleed blue and white when the doctors opt to give me an episiotomy.

16 comments:

aahcoffee said...

LOL!!!!

Wallaby said...

Middle Guy was due round about Superbowl 2000. Thankfully he arrived a few weeks early on a non-football related day. Meanwhile Little Guy did his best to ruin a 4th July party by trying to come early. Guess he didn't want to miss all the fun! Good luck holding out for a mid-week afternoon!

Wendy said...

I can related. I am a Univ. of Texas grad (and as you know, in Texas, football is a religion). I planned my wedding around football season. We were married on the one Saturday where the 2 biggest football teams in the state had an off weekend. And, as we prepare to start a family, the husband's only concern is that the baby can't be due during football season (for fear we might miss a game) and the baby can't be born in January (because we might miss a bowl game). How did all of this become so complicated?!?

Kristin said...

That would suck if she came during a football game. I can't really relate, considering my family doesn't bleed any school colors, lol. Although, we're all pretty loyal to the Patriots, but I'm pretty sure if a baby were coming, they could care less about football, lol. But good luck to you on that :P
And ouch at that Episiotomy thing. I actually sat here gaping for a minute when I clicked on the link. =]

-KrIsTiN-

Randall said...

Oh my goodness, too funny. I have a feeling that when Nick and I have a child (in the far off distant future, thank you) there will be a serious problem if there is time conflict with a Nebraska Huskers game. Or Braves game. Or the Masters. Or Kentucky Derby. Oh no, I'm in trouble.

Anonymous said...

you might get better care in the hospital on a saturday, esp. if it is a game day. stats show tuesdays are actually the busiest delivery days b/c moms get through the weekend then are home for the next weekend...something to think about!!!
nice link to episiotomies...

fusionofme said...

I'm so glad I knew what that was, so I didn't click the link. When my mom had my older sister, her stupid dr. gave her an episiotomy-without really explaining it, the way I understand it. She's been pro-midwife ever since.

Ray said...

You're so funny!

Well since I have ovaries, I say who gives a CRAP about a football game, when a baby's being born! It's far more important than ANY game.

And since I hate sports (with the exception of watching boxing if I happen to find it flipping channels),I have no sympathy for the fact that your daughter may be born on the day of a "Steeler's Game." Why? Because frankly the game play that you'll be playing "of giving birth", will be a helluavue lot harder than trying to throw a ball on the opposing teams side.

Thus, all this being said I wish I had something that I loved that much. I have nothing really. So for Jerry & David's sake hopefully the baby's late. But for your sake, hopefully she's born healthy. Also hopefully she's born on time so you won't go crazy wishing she was out already. ;o) Because that in the end is all that matters. Whether it be a Steeler's game or not.

Take care, Kelly.

knicksgrl0917 said...

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Marina said...

Holy episiotomy. That looks fucking horrible. Good luck...? :/

Lewis said...

"How did all of this become so complicated?!?"

It shouldn't.

Kristin said...

Football for the University of Georgia is like that too. I've never know anyone to birth a child during the fall though... However, I know a lot of people (women included) that plan their weddings around game days :) Personally I'd never schedule anything ona game day. Of course can't quite help that whole mother nature baby making timeline can you? :)

Rachel said...

Hey - thanks for the myspace comment! We were at childbirth education class this past week and the pediatrician thought I was about the burst and was surprised to hear I was only 31 weeks along... I guess I look bigger in my clothes?

We have Steelers season tickets and my husband has already warned me that I will not be going into labor during a home game Sunday. Luckily I think the games closest to my due date are out of town, but going into labor during a game, home or away, will be hard on him! AND we are both PSU alumni, so we have the same "bleeding blue and white" issue with Saturdays...

I was catching up on your posts and I'm glad you chose to buy the body pillow. I got one around 20 weeks and my husband has to hang off the side of the bed so I have room for myself, my body pillow, and my other supportive pillows. Totally worth the expense though :)

the plainsman said...

Must be a regional thing as far fewer in NY Metro Area have that sort of attachhment to the schools they attended. Pro sports: Yankees, Mets , Giants, Jets, Knicks, Nets, Rangers, Devils, Islanders, Cosmos, Generals, etc. here begins at birth have always overshawdowed the college games, even for those of us who went to another region for college. (except for the, ah, bettors!)

Anonymous said...

You're due on my grandmother's birthday! =)

Nutkin said...

*shudders*

Episiotmies terrify me.