There have been a rash of convenience store robberies in our area over the past few weeks and it had police going crazy trying to catch this guy.
The suspect was a tall white male who dressed all in black, including a black bandanna wrapped around his face -- earning him the nickname The Black Bandanna Bandit.
Officials got so close on numerous occasions. Even the convenience stores started to notice trends and keep a watchful eye to protect their businesses. In fact, one store manager saw the would-be robber coming and locked up mid-afternoon, obtaining hilarious camera footage of the Bandit running up to the doors, shaking them vigorously in confusion and retreating in a sprint to his getaway vehicle.
Well, after conducting successful armed robberies into the double digits, police nabbed him and his female accomplice yesterday.
The news quickly filtered to all the media outlets, where Jerry and his radio morning show co-host, Troy, had a blast with the information, saying things like:
"What a freakin idiot! Everyone knows the house wins eventually. You can't keep gambling and gambling forever without getting your jackpot wiped out. You have to know when to quit!"
"Yeah, I mean, I learned that lesson when I was 6 watching 'Press Your Luck' with my grandma! Every idiot who used all of their free spins hit a whammy sometime!"
Then they drilled it home by taking turns tossing insults.
"BLACK BANDANNA LOSER."
When they got off the air, the phone rang. It was Troy's police buddy that he works out with on occasion.
He called to tell the guys that their message sometimes gets to the right people. Apparently Troy's friend was the one who was transporting the Bandit to the police station for booking. During the ride, he had the radio tuned to their morning show.
The Bandit, sitting in handcuffs in the backseat, heard the whole thing and reacted by snorting and huffing and puffing and scrunching up his face in displeasure.
A little justice before any judge.