Friday, September 7, 2007

Thank God for waterproof mascara

Timberly and Dan's wedding was absolutely perfect. (Not that I would expect anything less from a bride who paid such close attention to detail that she printed out copies of the readings for the ceremony in the same paper booklet as the programs and added a different color ribbon to them so the readers could tell them apart when they were closed.)

From my perspective, the event was practically flawless except for a few minor technical glitches here and there. Oh yeah, and the fact that my toast SUCKED.

Of all the weddings I've been to this summer, this one was the most emotional for me. Maybe it's because I know how hard Timberly worked on it. Maybe it's because I was there the night she and Dan met. Maybe it's because Dan asked Jerry to get Timberly's phone number from me, and Jerry managed to squeeze into Dan's exclusive fantasy football league by bribing him with it. Or maybe it's because, deep down, I know Timberly and Dan really are meant to be together.

Either way, the tears started falling as soon as Timberly started walking down the aisle and stupid me forgot to stuff the front of my bridesmaid's dress with a few tissues. So there I stood at the front of the ceremony, bouquet in one hand trying frantically to prevent all of my eye makeup from running down my face. I was flanked by her mom and sister, and they just looked at me and did their best to stifle a laugh.

The waterworks returned in full force when it was time to give my toast. Ironically, I hadn't been nervous about it. I am completely comfortable speaking in front of crowds and didn't hesitate even a millisecond when Timberly asked me to say a few words on their behalf. But, knowing me and knowing that I'd turn into a blubbering mess -- likely uttering things like "I LOVE YOU GUYS!" over and over again -- if I didn't prepare something, I opted to write out my speech.

And it still sucked.

I couldn't even get through the first paragraph without tearing up. The words and lines that I had printed out in oversized 18-point type blurred and swayed. I bumbled through it, pausing at one point to blame the pregnancy hormones (to which I graciously received a hearty laugh), but when I sat back down, I had this overwhelming feeling like I had screwed everything up and completely embarrassed myself.

It didn't matter how many people came up to me the rest of the night saying what a lovely job I did and how it showed how much I cared about my friends, I still get an awkward uncontrollable urge to vomit every time I think about it. Ugh. I will never give a wedding toast again. Never. Never ever.

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The afternoon before the rehearsal, Timberly hosted a bridesmaid's
luncheon at her house and even thought of decaffeinated tea for me.

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Jer and me at the rehearsal dinner later that night.

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Me with the bride.

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Bride and groom.

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On the walk back to our hotel, Jerry got lewd with one of the buffalo
statues poking out of a building. Someone walked past and laughed
saying something sarcastic about it being "highly inappropriate."

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The buffalo herd continued around to this amazing fountain.

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The next morning we got our hair done by Jodi,
who completely rocked. I absolutely loved her.

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I wish my hair had looked this good for my own
wedding. This is hours later right before I took it out.

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Timberly and Dan met for photos before their ceremony.


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Timberly's bouquet.

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I adore this photo. This is right after they fed each other a piece of cake.


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My date for the evening, looking mighty dapper.

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My other dates for the evening: Gisela and Geoff. I miss them tremendously.

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On next summer's wedding list: Mike and Sue.

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And here, my favorite photo of the entire day.

14 comments:

julie said...

That last one is a gorgeous photo. Why no full pic of you in the bridesmaid dress? The little bit we can see in that one pic looks so cute!!

Anonymous said...

I must be hungry. When you said your toast sucked I thought of burnt bread and having toast for a wedding dinner being kinda strange

Tricia said...

Jerry and the bull..classic.
You and your hair, gorgeous.

Timberly said...

Your toast was wonderful. Stop stressing!

Anonymous said...

KELLY, IF YOUR TOAST WAS ANYTHING LIKE YOUR BLOGS, IT WAS AWSOME...I'M SURE OF IT. YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS LIKE NO OTHER. I HAVE NEVER MET TIMBERLY BUT YOU HAVE MENTIONED OF HER OFTEN IN YOUR BLOGS AND I'M SURE SHE AND HER NEW HUBBY LOVED YOUR TOAST. YOU AND JERRY LOOK BEAUTIFUL AS ALWAYS. JERRY AND THE BULL PIC IS CLASSIC JERRY. YOU GUYS CRACK ME UP.

Rachel said...

I agree that I'd like to see a full-body shot in the bridesmaid gown!

chelsea said...

I'm sure it was fine! What matters is that Timberly got your point! You all look gorgeous!!

the plainsman said...

Toasts are difficult, especially when one is so close to the toasted.

Well, my last sentence doesn't read so well either, eh?

You are no doubt, being harder on yourself than others. Maybe the words were not as pefect as you would have liked, but I bet no one could ever doubt your love, wishes and sincerity.

Some great photos, I like the one seconds after after the "cake feed," a neat little moment no one ever sees. And of course, you & Jerry clearly says "happy" just as the last one of the new bride.

As for Jerry being inapropriate with the bull, tell me how inapropriate is it for someone to encase that poor bull in cement, anyway?!!

Ray said...

That third paragraph you wrote about: why you were emotional was beautiful. I even got a bit emotional. Weddings are beautiful as are good friends.

That SHOT of Jerry getting freaky with the bull is classic. You should blow-up it up and put that in your living room. Perfect before picture of a daddy to be. ;o)

And you looked beautiful with those curls and that dress! I agree with, "Julie" we need to see more of that dress WOMAN!

Well take care, Kelly.

P.S. On your speech even though you think you mulled it, if all those people came up to you---it must have been beautiful. BUT, we are our biggest critics and maybe that is our biggest downfall.

Ray said...

OH: and I absolutely love that photo of your friends Mike & Sue. That is too cute!!

its_just_ang from Xanga said...

Everything looked great including you! I made a mess of myself at my friend's wedding when I did my toast, so I know JUST how you feel. It kinda reminded me a lot of my own when I read yours. In retrospect, I know that I just felt like an idiot and didn't really come off that way to everyone else. Also, I had to comment about the couple meeting beforehand to do pictures. My husband and I did the same thing, but I've never really come across anyone else that has done it. I've heard of it before, but I guess it's on the rare side, so I just wanted to throw that out there. Have a great weekend!

mercurial scribe said...

Timberly was/is a beautiful bride. Glad fun was had!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for what you add to my day, everyday!!! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, I feel like I know you.... not to sound whacko... I just do.

Jill

Shalini said...

You all look so pretty!!!

When your friends get married, it's hard to NOT be emotional. I can't even imagine being able to talk when my daughter gets married... I am sure I will be crying buckets!