Monday, October 1, 2007

34 weeks and counting (desperately)

I've had a couple bad pregnancy days recently. They're much like bad hair days, only instead of just affecting your head and your mood, it affects your entire body and psyche.

I'm sure it's not uncommon at this stage of the game. I mean, I feel like I've been pregnant forever. And really, when I think about it, I have been pregnant almost the entire year.

The toughest part is my changing body. I've slowed way down and even the simplest tasks have become difficult. Just carrying a basket of laundry up a flight of stairs makes me winded. Hell, even without the laundry I struggle for breath sometimes. The baby is now taking up my entire midsection which has encroached on my lung space. It's almost like a constant asthma attack. Sitting up overly straight is my only line of defense.

To top it off, her nutritional needs have taken over. I'm often hungry a few hours after eating, and ignoring it is not an option. My stomach starts growling loudly and the baby starts flailing. I'm not sure which is weirder: Feeling something inside you demanding food or feeling your stomach rumble in your ribcage.

Then there's the fact that I can't move the way I used to. Bending over and picking things up requires my utmost concentration. And I kind of have to bow out my legs to give my bulging belly a place to go. I've noticed that I'm even walking differently. I sometimes arch my back to overcompensate for the load I'm carrying out front.

The only time I really have any get up and go is when I'm literally getting up to go. If she rotates or moves anywhere near my bladder, I feel it. The pressure is enough to send me immediately to the bathroom, where it is always disappointing at the lack of liquid that had me so worked up in the first place. I expect Niagara Falls. I get a rain drop.

The nights are the worst. Finding a comfortable position is almost an impossibility. I am hyper aware of my belly and its contents, and it takes a lot of work to move it from one side to the other. Not to mention a 180 degree turn is enough to stir the baby, and I have to wait until she settles to doze off again.

The other small internal changes don't seem like much until I add them up. Things like popping vertebrae have become a regular occurrence as my bones and ligaments loosen in preparation for childbirth. My hands and feet swell like tightly packed sausages on the rare occasion that I do attempt to walk around for a bit. And then there's the gas. Oh my God the gas. I would think the smells coming from my ass were those of a 450 pound trucker who just ingested a deep fried jalapeno sandwich and washed it down with molten lava.

Externally, I'm trying not to place too much emphasis on the small purple stretchmarks digging trenches into the skin around my sides. I know from experience that they fade, but it's difficult to watch them grow and realize there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. Not even the four applications of anti-stretchmark cream I'm committed to daily.

Then there's the weight gain. I've honestly been okay with it up until my maternity jeans stopped fitting last week. When elastic pants become too constricting, you know you've hit an emotional low. I now have two pairs of long pants that allow me to sit in comfort. Relatively speaking, of course.

But as I fought off the urge to cry on my drive to work one day last week, I tried to remember what it's all for. And how hard I've worked to get to this point.

Then, as if right on cue, I felt a little arm or foot or butt or something stretch the boundary of my belly. Those are my favorite moments. When I'm alone in my car thinking about who knows what, she moves and reminds me she's there.

And I know without a doubt that she'll be worth it.


Jennifer said...

I think the last month of pregnancy is so horrible. You are so tired of being pregnant and you just want the baby out already. It doesn't help when everyone comments with "You haven't had that baby yet???"

Hang in there soon-to-be momma!

Beth said...

She sure will be. It's the reason there are so many babies...if all you remembered were the moments you just wrote about, there would only ever be one-child families.

I remember thinking that when we were having physicals before our daughter was born, part of the enormously encompassing adoption processes, and we had to have immunizations for diseases I never even HEARD of. I spent my 39th birthday getting more shots than I can ever remember in all my life, and I just kept thinking, this baby is so worth whatever we go through now.

Eight years later...she's more worth it than ever. She woke up in the middle of the night because of a storm, and crawled in with us, and we all went back to sleep wrapped around each other. So there wasn't much room in the bed anymore...who cared?

You are going to love meeting your daughter, and touching her, holding her, for the very first time, is indescribable.

Blessings to you all, again, always.

Liz said...

she will i am sure! i cant wait to see her like i said in one of my other comments my boyfriends girlfriend is due 10 days after yours is due but the drs told her that she would be lucky to make it to the 1st of nov she is growing that much. its amazing! hey what radio station does jerry work for? you cna write back in a comment! thnaks!

Tiffany said...

She most definitely will be :-)

julie said...

Hang on Kel, less than 6 weeks to go. And I'm sure she will be so worth it all. In the meantime, blame all gas on Toby. Even take him to work with you so you can still blame it on him there.

Lioncloud said...

I used to get a backache washing dishes. You have to hunch over to compensate for your belly being so much in the way.

Any hemorrhroids yet? ;)

chelsea said...

She will be! Hang in there!

the plainsman said...

Playing "ketchup" today. Hmm, was correct for four of five questions I answered on your "who did what as a kid" quiz. Are you sure you guys did not grow up on the next block over from where I did? And how did being walked on a jump rope leash affect your sibling in later life, anyway?

Ha! Those gasoline fume snortin' mechanical contraptions are called "hit and miss" engines and farmers used them to do all sorts of work about a century or so ago.

Many now restore them and bring them to shows and fairs, I guess its cheaper than restoring an old car or tractor and fun if you like the old mechanical stuff! They run forever on a cup of gas, I heard.

Ah, see-- I have avoided comminting on most of the pregancy stuff in your post today 'cause after you mentioned "popping vertebrae" it was too scary for us guys!

Ray said...

That last paragraph almost made me tear up. And yes she'll be worth it. I hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes quickly so you can finally met her. ;o)

Take, care.

Anonymous said...

Of course she'll be worth it. For at least 11.5 years and then again after 18ish.

Wendy said...

Note to self....get dog so that I can blame the gas on someone.

The husband and I don't fart in front of each other "to keep the romance alive." I guess we may be killing to romance some day.

Have you tried sleeping sitting up in the recliner?

Anonymous said...

Kelly, I can't believe you are almost having a baby!! That is so exciting. I was reading some of your blogs, since I've been so out of the loop with the internet. I saw that you were in Omaha! I can't believe you were in Omaha, I would've invited you out to my coffee shop, you may have seen some Crane Coffee's around town. Anyways, I'm glad to see you are doing so well. I can't wait to see your beautiful baby. Take care,

Sarah (cafechick80 from xanga)

Emmy said...

The last month of pregnancy *is* a killer but, of course, she's definitely worth it. Just like you said, sweetie. And I think (for your own benefit) it's time you considered having those special pregnancy massages you mentioned before about. The ones you thought of getting some time ago. It would be good for you, enough so that you can relax and get some much needed relief. How about it? ;-)

Hang in there! Take care, now! <3