Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Even my wildest imagination couldn't make this up

Last night, Jerry and I went to dinner with some friends. When I got up to go to the bathroom at the end of the meal, I ended up following another woman in. She was probably in her late-50s, had very short gray hair and was wearing a colorful knitted vest.

She held the door for me on the way in, so she knew I was there, and proceeded into the first stall on the right.

As she swung the door open, she said, "MY NAME IS CORNHOLIO. I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!"

In the Beavis voice and everything.

It literally stopped me in my tracks. I almost peed myself right there as I tried desperately to contain my laughter.

As I closed the door to the furthest stall, I honestly started to wonder if any of it was really happening. Was I dreaming? I mean, no one else was in there to witness it. Maybe I would walk out to find elaborately dressed circus monkeys waiting with fancy bar soap and fluffy hand towels.

But there weren't any monkeys. Just the crazy woman with the random vocal outburst. And as our eyes met briefly in the mirror, we just smiled in that polite "I acknowledge that you are a fellow human being" way you do with strangers in a bathroom.

Then we returned to our tables. And as luck would have it, hers was near mine.

When I sat down, I tried to quietly draw attention to the woman so I could relay the story. I mouthed the words, "OH MY GOD ... GET A LOOK AT THAT WOMAN ... HAVE I GOT A STORY FOR YOU GUYS!"

All heads instantly turned in her direction, but I didn't even care how indiscreet it was. It was too good not to share.

Everyone at the table agreed: No one would ever expect a middle-aged woman to blurt out an obscure 1994 MTV cartoon reference in a knowingly occupied public restroom.

And the Most Bizarre Statement of the Year award goes to ...

CRAZY BATHROOM LADY.

17 comments:

Meaghan Delaney said...

Wow.

kristin said...

You definitely can't make that stuff up. That's the most absurb thing I've ever heard.

Tiffany said...

LOL... I needed that laugh today!

Randall said...

Teehee - at least she didn't throw in Butthead's dumb laugh to counter the comment.

Jennifer said...

Well since no one ran out with a hidden camera crew, my best guess would be she has Tourettes. Either that or she has a very, very strange sense of humor

its_just_ang from xanga said...

Classic!

julie said...

You need that song from the 90s playing on your site... "How bizarre, how bizarre" Great. Now I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head.

I'll miss reading you over the next couple weeks. We head to Rochester tonight and won't be back from Mexico until November 2nd, so don't go having that baby until then!!! I don't want to miss it!

((hugs))

Emmy said...

My kids would have found it funny and giggled their butts off *while* egging her on to do more cartoon impersonations! So it's a good thing they'll never run into someone like her. lol

julie said...

Your due date is November 10th, right? I get back on the 2nd. You won't be overdue. You'll still be a week early. I remember your due date cuz it's also my friend Tirsa's wedding date.

chelsea said...

That is so funny!

Mooseluver24 said...

HAHA! That is hilarious!!

Janice said...

HAHAHAHA what the heck? That's awesome.

On a completely different note, I've been scrapbooking a LOT lately.. I think I've just been in the mood, so I'll let you know when pictures are up!

Ray said...

OHMYGOD! THAT IS SO CRAZY! WOW. =) If that was me I wouldn't have known what to do (I've never watched Beavis and Butthead so I wouldn't have understood the reference)!

Marina said...

Wow. That was a lot funnier when I wasn't aware that it was a Beavis and Butthead reference. But even so, it's still fucking great. :D Whenever I encounter people doing strange things like that, my first thought is that it's a psychology experiment. Haha.

Anonymous said...

Ahaha - That is great!

Kristin said...

Lmfao. I think I just laughed my organs out of my body, lol.

-KrIsTiN-

the plainsman said...

That experience does take the prize. I thought about checking back this AM to see the rest of the comments were. I must have been laughing so much yesterday, I forgot to push the "publish" key after typing mine!

No matter, the bottom line is "crazies in the restroom, get out fast!"