Friday, October 5, 2007

Fleeing fleas

After all of the work I did yesterday, I am confident enough to say that this house has never been so spotless before. Not even if Mr. Clean had done it himself and left shiny sparkling stars on every flat surface that gleamed in the sun.

The urge to delouse the place was overwhelming. I couldn't stand the thought of dead flea larvae hanging out in our carpet. So I started with the floors. Then I just turned into a crazy maniac with a vacuum cleaner.

I am not exaggerating when I say I covered every surface. I saw places in this house yesterday that had probably been neglected for years. I dusted every square foot of baseboards throughout the entire house. I even got on my hands and knees and sucked out the dust in the heating vents and ran an attachment through each nook in our wine rack.

Meanwhile, I had rotated through 347 loads of laundry including every washable plush material in the house. Every sheet. Every pillowcase. Every blanket and throw rug. Every bath towel, hand towel and kitchen towel. Even Toby's unwashable bedding got a 30 minute spin in the dryer to kill anything that even thought about surviving the flea bombs. I even ran all of his rubbery toys through a cycle in the dishwasher.

By the time Jerry got home, I had all of the furniture pulled away from the walls in the living room and was sucking up the dust on the inner windowsills behind the couch.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Decontaminating."

"Stop. ... Kelly, stop. ... STOP!"

"I can't stop or I won't be able to finish," I said, yelling over the hum of the vacuum as I continued with the baseboards. "Seriously. If I stop I'll realize how much I'm ready to collapse."

Knowing there was no way he could talk any sense into me, he just joined in, trying to take over the brunt of the physical moving. Like lifting the couch. To which I repaid him by accidentally ramming the edge of vacuum cleaner into his big toe on his left foot and nearly severing it in half.

When we finished, nearly six hours after I had started, I felt normal again. I wasn't grossed out by the mere thought of putting my bare foot on our floors. After taking a shower, I collapsed on the couch with a PB&J.

"I know this might not make any sense at all, but when I'm in labor saying something like, 'I can't do this anymore,' I want you to remind me of this day."

"Okaaay."

"Not the physical aspect of it, because I'm sure that's nothing compared to labor, but the determination aspect of it," I said. "Even though I was exhausted and I hurt all over, I was determined to finish. I had a goal. ... Just remind me of that."

"Deal. But I'll probably also mention something about how my toe still hurts."

"Then you'd better hope I don't rip your face off before the next contraction hits."

10 comments:

Jennifer said...

A couple of weeks before my first daughter was born my husband came home to me teetering on our steps, frantically vacumming the tiniest nooks and crannies. As you probably know, balancing a vaccum and a large pregnant belly is quite the feat!

How funny that your nesting got kicked into high gear because of the fleas! I can't even imagine what that must've been like. Regular nesting is crazy enough :-)

julie said...

You guys are too funny. I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable in your newly cleaned home. Fleas and flea bombs are icky.

Tiffany said...

I hate fleas. Everything that bites is highly attracted to me, so if I'm in a house w/ fleas you can bet I'll leave itching.

Job well done on the clean house. You deserve another one of those massages!

chelsea said...

I hope you're resting, or at least trying to, today!

Ray said...

HAHA! You guys are truly too cute. And now I order you pregnant woman to stay off your feet! You've done enough. Give yourself a break....STARTING----NOW!

Take, care. =o)

jsi said...

Extreme housecleaning feats - the #1 reason I went into labor for each and every child. 2 exactly on their due dates, 2 within 2 weeks early of their due dates. And the main reason was the necessity to tackle a problem like yours - one that needs attention now or it will be worse right when the baby's here.
Glad you are extra clean, and satisfied, and sorry to know about foot injuries.
Hang in there...these next weeks are going to be gorgeous. Have some cider and a foliage stroll and enjoy the depth of pleasure to be found on a perfect autumn day.

Kristin said...

Jerry is something else, I tell you :p

-KrIsTiN-

shalini said...

THIS is LOVE

the I need a nap plainsman said...

Those poor flea babies never had a chance! LOL

Anonymous said...

i hope you trashed the vacuum cleaner bag.