Thursday, October 18, 2007

Overdue date

It really dawned on me yesterday, perhaps for the first time ever, that Nov. 10 isn't exactly set in stone. I mean, sure, doctors can approximate a baby's gestation with almost 100 percent accuracy these days, but, to be honest, it really doesn't mean crap.

For the past eight months, I've been viewing Nov. 10 as a magic number of sorts. A goal. A final destination. The finish line.

But due dates aren't like wedding dates. You can look forward to your child's expected birthday all you want, but that doesn't mean it'll happen. In fact, the likelihood is about 10 percent. Maybe less.

And yet, here I am, counting down. Literally. There are 23 days until Nov. 10. Twenty-three long and arduous days of hefting this baby around and attempting to be patient. Despite horrible sleep. Killer heartburn. Cramping and fake contractions. And clothes that are so restricting that I feel like Houdini every time I manage to writhe out of them.

The toughest part is knowing she is now considered full-term. If she was a Thanksgiving turkey, her little plastic timers would've popped already.

But it doesn't matter. Biology has its own time clock. And if she's anything like her mother, she'll choose to come fashionably late.

So last night when my boss mentioned making the November schedule, I felt more than a flutter of excitement. NOVEMBER! If I was Cinderella, songbirds would've burst through the windows right at that moment and started coiling ribbons and bows around my head.

"I'm assuming you'll want most of the month off?" she asked.


The thing is, I want to work right up until I have this baby. I get 12 weeks off for maternity leave, and I'm hoping to spend every single one of those days with my daughter. Sure, I could start my leave now, but that's less time on the other end.

So I tried to think about when my time off might actually start. And I remembered that pregnant women are given a two-week window before and after their due date to help them gauge when the baby might arrive.

That's great and all, but, um, I've been concentrating on the two weeks BEFORE. Mostly because the two weeks after seem completely unbearable at this point. I'd rather stick my hand in an industrial-sized paper shredder.

But just out of curiosity and because my boss had asked what my plans are, I flipped over my desk calendar to November and took a look. Two weeks later takes me until AFTER Thanksgiving. November 24 to be exact. (Suddenly the turkey-timer analogy didn't seem quite so amusing anymore.)

That's 37 days from now. WAY more than the already agonizingly long 23 days I have somewhat mentally prepared for.

By then I don't think I'll be able to stand upright or form complete sentences. Clothes will be a thing of the past. I'll have to staple bedsheets together around my mound of flesh and hope that Jerry understands my grunts enough to get me a glass of water and a sheet pizza. You know, for a pre-lunch snack.

So, in hopes of not being disappointed when my Nov. 10 due date comes and goes without any fanfare or even so much as a false alarm, I am now concentrating on my overdue date: Nov. 24.

And if she's not out by then?

She will very likely be an only child.


Anonymous said...

You just crack me up! My 1st was 4 days late, he was due November 8th (his dad's birthday) but came November 12th. I cried everyday past the 8th. LOL!! My 2nd was 2 weeks early and we were planning on going out of town on vacation Friday December 13th but he came on Wednesday before that. So our trip was canceled. My rationalizing the situation was hey I'm not due until December 23rd so why not take a mini vacation, I still have two weeks right?! Boy was I wrong. He came on December 11th. It was really actually pretty neat though because that made my boys birthdays exact opposites, just like they are, 11-12 & 12-11.

Laura said...

I was born on my due date, have hope.

LesLo said...

I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. I haven't read your blog for like 2 months now, and just yesterday I was able to catch up.

I LOVE the baby's room, and your camera is awesome. When you went to Chicago, you were practically in my backyard. :)

I'm so happy everything with your pregnancy has been going well. I cannot wait to see your baby girl! Well, take care. Adios.

Jennifer said...

Thankfully both my girls came early. The first one day early, the 2nd a week early. But I can tell you, I too would've prefered the shedder to having to wait longer than my due dates.

If you go over I'll give you some things you can try to evict her! haha!

Electioneering Plainsman said...

On the other hand, she could Elect to be born a few days early on Election Day! A poster child for getting out to vote. LOL

petra said...

I'm one those who were "fashionably late" at birth -- I was born two weeks overdue. :-D But I got a pretty cool b-day of 03-03.

SwissMiss said...

I'm always amazed at how the American system works in terms of maternity leave, or complete lack thereof. The country where I live grants 16 weeks of legal maternity leave. Starting ONLY when you've actually had the baby and can be negotiated with your employer to be extended for up to a year. In addition your salary is paid the entire time. I have yet to meet an obstetrician that will allow a pregnant woman to work up until her due date. Most are off work at 7.5 months and are still paid! The US may boast a lot of things but labor laws, healthcare and ANY social services are most definitely not its forte.

kristin said...

Overdue data makes me laugh. But just think, now that you are focused on that date, if she comes any earlier, the relief will be hugely immense. Versus the disappointment if she came after the 10th.

Tiffany said...

12 weeks? That's so not long enough! Up here, new mothers get a full year to be off with their babies. The fact that anywhere would offer any less is mind-boggling.

They can't fill your spot either. Well, enjoy the time with your princess!

Janice said...

maybe, just maybe... she'll be born before hand. I was a week late, but only a week. :) Try to stay positive and tell Jerry all the codes ahead of time <3

Anonymous said...

Hi Kelly, I hate to tell you this, but I was THREE weeks late! To this day, I continue to be late for everything. Here's hoping you baby is not of the fashionably late variety and I can't wait to meet your "Little Miss"

Sarah said...

I was born 15 days late. My mom said she was VERY ready to get me out of there.

Sarah said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was 9lbs 6oz!

MandyElvins said...

I don't mean to scare you, but I was more than two weeks overdue. I was due at the end of May, and was born on June 21. My mom was MORE than ready to get me out- she went on about 12 walks a day, because the doctors then told her that walking alot might help get me out sooner.
Here's hoping your baby isn't overdue!

Sarah said...

I want to see another belly pic!

Marina said...

They really shouldn't call it a due date, should they? It should really be an estimated time of arrival (ETA). I say we petition the government to change this important term. It's false advertising, damnit.

Anonymous said...

My first was a week late and my second a day late, but everyone is different. My sisters 4, yes I said 4 kids, were all on time. My sister in laws 2 kids were 2 weeks early. Good luck.

Kristin said...

Haha nice. I can't believe this hasn't occurred to you before, lol.


erica said...

Everyone seems to be posting how late they were and telling you not to worry. Well, I think I'll balance the whole thing out and let you know I was nine days early! It really is a toss up. You seem to have a good strategy though. Oh and as for Plainsman my brother actually was born on the 7th... fun birthday huh? Woooo voting!

Tiffany said...

I agree with Sarah... you should post another belly pic- you never know when you might not get another chance! Little Miss could potentially come any day... I, like some others, was early... so have hope :-)

LeslieAnn said...

I was early. Like a week or so. :)

Do you read If not, you should. She's a really cool mom out in Utah. When I read her post today, I thought of you too. You're both amazing and cool women who write and love their family.

Maybe today she could use an e-mail from a fellow writer.

mercurial scribe said...

That's when you write the eviction notice! LoL.

Ray said...


Also you said that your maternity leave was three months. What I wan't to know is: "Is that the maximum amount of time for your leave off?" I mean I know most woman don't take very long so it's not a concern. But legally aren't you allowed a year off and able to go back to work without any problems (well there's not supposed to be any problems but we know better) I was just wondering.

Well take, care.

P.S. I hope she's born before Thanksgiving, so you can be home eating all that great food! ;o)

sweetheartmj97 said...

I'm crossing my fingers for you. My daughter was due April 11, and was induction, I might add on April 25th. My son was due on August 25th, and was born, again by induction on September 3rd. Due dates are a load of crap.


Shalini said...

Here's to hoping for a due date baby.

My friend worked until about the week before her due date and she had the 12 weeks leave as well, she wished she had waited the extra week because it was so hard to go back. I say just listen to your body and do what you can. Enjoy these last few days pre-mommyhood. Then you're off!

I am so excited for you!