Friday, October 19, 2007

The start of cervix updates! Wee!

The good news is that I'm one centimeter dilated and 50 percent effaced.

The bad news is that it really doesn't mean anything.

For those who are not well-versed in the language of cervixes -- the part of the female anatomy that essentially has to disappear in order to deliver a baby -- dilating is when it opens, effacing is when it thins. It needs to open to 10 centimeters and thin 100 percent.

Sounds easy, right? Ten little centimeters?

Now think back to your sex-ed class in elementary school where you had to watch birth videos. Remember the woman in the hospital gown walking around the halls, hunched over in pain? Yeah, that's because her cervix was dilating.

Fun, huh?

Everyone Jerry and I told about my minor progress seemed to think it indicates impending labor. As in, "Break out the office poll, I have dibs on early next week." Or, "You're DEFINITELY having an October baby."

But I refuse to get my hopes up. If I listen to what my body is telling me, I'm pretty sure she's damn content in there. I've had very few signs other than abdominal cramps, which are starting to increase in strength and frequency. I guess it's a good thing, but it's very confusing to mentally root for the pain and physically want it to stop.

Of course, it always hits at night while I'm at work. It's nothing I can't handle, but it makes concentrating a little difficult. I find myself just sort of taking a moment to breathe and relax. Otherwise I'd end up writing a headline for the next day's newspaper like, "Pending executions in Iraq causing turmoil and OWWWW."

In between, I just sort of waddle a trench in the carpet between my desk and the bathroom. If I thought I was going a lot before, now it's almost obnoxious. I might as well swap out my desk chair with a toilet.

The one ray of hope is the doctor's response to my most pressing question at my appointment yesterday: "If I go past my due date, when would I be induced?"

Answer: 10 1/2 days. (What the hell the half day is for, I'll never know.)

That takes me to the day before Thanksgiving.

Not ideal, but at that point, I don't think I'll much give a damn.

Cervix, schmervix.


Lauren said...

We need a new belly shot!

Lauren said...


I know it's long past due since YOUR almost-due date is coming up quickly, but I've been ready to send you your little presents.

So, if you would like to give me your work address, I'll send it off real quick like, or else you won't be at work and she'll be here!


Email is

Shalini said...

wow, turkey and a baby! Very exciting! But generally as your docs have told you : first timers usually go over the due day. I was 9.5 days over, and then went into labor... so here's to hoping you have her exactly on her due date :)

Ray said...

I second Lauren, "Belly shot, Belly shot!" Hehe. =) And I hope the baby's born before Thanksgiving!

Take, care.

Ray said...

HA! Here I am watching, "A baby Story" and when I flipped to the channel they were talking about, how many centimeters dialated and being 50% effaced. Hehe. ;o)

Jennifer said...

I'll cross my fingers that she comes out soon for you!

chelsea said...

Oh man I'd feel so weird knowing that was happening!

Jennifer said...

Exciting! At least something is going on right? Labor.... ugh.... the most painful thing I've ever gone through. (OH gee how nice, just what you wanna hear right?)

I thought I could do natural with daugther #1. Made it to 9 cm, and then begged for the druges

Daughter #2, asked for the drugs as soon as I walked into the door. Then got pissed when it was 2 mins past the 45 minute waiting period they told me it would take.

Before your first child you think of an epidural as a sqemishy thing. Big needle in the spine that they then keep in there? Oh EWWWW and OW. But then, in the middle of the pain of labor you think... "big needle in my spine, HELL YEAH I want that!. Heck if they want to poke it in through my eyeball I'll still take it at this point"

As far as being dialted and effaced. With daughter #1, once I was 1 cm dialated I had her in a day or two. With daughter #2, I was 2 cm dialated for WEEKS. *sigh* So you are right, you just never know.

Anonymous said...

wow jennifer your comments aren't very comforting to her in this emotional time. maybe wait until her birth is over and then tell her your stories.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I can't believe Jennifer said all that, and so close to your delivery date. Really. Unbelievable. Let me tell you the truth. =) I didn't think it was pleasant and it wasn't the easiest event. But actually, there really are way worse things in life and then you don't get a prize to take home either. Many of us do it more than once even! And I'm sure you've heard women tell about "forgetting" the pain afterwards. I used to think that sounded totally retarded, but it's really true. Kelly, you've already gone through the worst. This time you'll appreciate every moment of it. And we'll appreciate sharing it with you afterwards. (By the way, that was not even an accurate description of an epidural, fear not.)

early arrival plainsman said...

I'm still betting it will be Election Day! Steal a headline away from the politicos. I was a first born and early a week or so. Plus, my mom always said labor went easily, too, no drugs and not what she expected, so that's a comforting thought to counter some of the other experiences, eh?

Tara said...

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just said...

I know it isn't the office, but........ my guess is November 14th. You working that night? I'm getting a water breaking kinda vibe... got some plastic for your chair?

I have been honored to be at the births of 4 babies, and each one was different, and yeah - that cervix thing means absolutely NOTHING at this point. Even though it seems so close, yet so far away, that little girl will be here soon, enjoy every minute leading up to her arrival.

Rachel said...

Your body is getting ready to go! Good idea not to get your hopes up to go early, but don't resign yourself to going two weeks late... Just do the walking and sex to help things along! That's what worked for me! I had my baby almost a week before due date!

Jo said...

haha! My friend had her baby on Thanksgiving day 2 years ago... I remember spending a whopping 12 hours at the Hospital... Fun Fun. You be safe!!

its_just_ang from Xanga said...

This might sound really weird, but I'm totally keeping my fingers crossed that she'll be a Halloween baby! Just imagine all of the awesome birthday parties she would have. That would be so much fun. She would be the ultimate trick-or-treat surprise!

mercurial scribe said...

My husband was born on November 28th, the Monday after Thanksgiving. Can you imagine enduring all the Thanksgiving holiday just WAITING to pop?

Alessandra said...

I don't know all of the pregnancy terminology, since I'm in my last year of undergrad (not looking to have kids for another handful of years...). Anyways, "effaced" I read to mean "f-faced", like you're under pain-killers already or something like that. Whoooo....
Congrats though, you're that much closer!