Sunday, November 4, 2007

An end in sight ... for work anyway

So, I'm wussing out. After a particularly grueling few days of lugging this baby around, I've decided that this is going to be my last week at work if I don't go into labor on my own before then.

Which I won't. Because she's never coming out. Never. Never ever.

Ever.

I'm sort of disappointed in myself for not being able to work right up until contractions knock me on my ass and I call Jerry in a panic to come pick me up. I guess that's sort of how I always envisioned it.

Sure, I know I should be proud that my last day will be my due date. In fact, everyone in my office with children looks at me incredulously when they see I'm still pulling full-time hours. And as miserable as it is to force myself out of my comfy fleece pants every day and put on one of the two pairs of public-appropriate pants that sort of still fit me, I'm motivated by the fact that most people think I shouldn't be able to do it anymore.

Every day someone looks at me and says, "You're STILL HERE?!" Or some version thereof.

But the truth is, it's getting difficult. The mere act of standing up from my desk for any reason is an event in itself for my uterus. I just feel the weight of it pushing down on my pelvis and often have to hold onto something, anything, for support. And sitting back down again requires my utmost concentration -- feet square on the ground, each hand on an armrest, slowly lower using my biceps and flop.

It's such an exhausting regimen that I plan out my activities for each rise. I always multitask. One round might include a trip to the printer, a stop at the photo desk, a refill at the water cooler and a trip to the bathroom. Then I'm good for at least another 20 or 30 minutes.

Then again, even sitting is no picnic. I can't cross my legs. They ache if I don't stretch them. I need to keep them elevated if I don't want my feet to swell. Sometimes I get brilliant shooting pains that run from my hips to my toes if I shift slightly. And my hips hurt so badly that sometimes I just want to wave a white flag and sever myself at the ribcage. The baby wins. She can have my lower half. I give up.

So, last night at work, after much hesitation, I talked to one of my bosses about making this my last week instead of ending Nov. 17 like I had originally planned. Friday will be my last day.

But I'm still holding out hope that I'll go before then.

In fact, I woke up this morning humming "I believe in miracles ... you sexy thang."

Granted, I'm pretty sure it's about a guy trying to get a hot woman to sleep with him, but um, I think it translates loosely.

11 comments:

its_just_ang from Xanga said...

It's very admirable you made it as far as you did at work. I'm definitely impressed. I probably would have wimped out a long time ago!

Tiffany said...

I agree, I think it's awesome that you've stuck it out this long. I can't believe this WEEK is your due date!! Ahh!!

Janice said...

At least now you can rest and relax until your lovely daughter decides to show her face! :)

the plainsman said...

Impressive fortitude, considering that although your are willing, the "bones" are saying "enough!"

Just watched Paula Radcliff of Great Britain win the NY Marathon -- she gave birth nine months ago...

You women are amazing people!

mercurial scribe said...

The very fact you've made it this far is beyond incredible to me. Seriously, you're like an insane hero to pregnant women everywhere.

I'm so glad I work from home now because I have no idea how one can handle working full time AND being pregnant without kvetching each time your mouth opens.

Here's to labor coming sometime soon!

Randall said...

I always remember ths line in "Now and Then" where very, very pregnant Rita Wilson explains to Rosie O'Donnell that she is just going to go in between her legs and grab the baby out. And Rosie explains, "well, now won't that be pretty?" Enjoy your time not working - you're so close!

chelsea said...

You've done well thus far! How do you get some one to cover you, since your an editor? Do you get one of your most trusted writers to come in? I've always wondered that...

Ray said...

I commend you for working up into the last minute. It's crazy but if it's what you want then so be it. I'm glad though that it's your last week so you can get some rest. Hopefully Little Miss will make her appearance on Saturday like we all want her to. =)

Take, care.

jsi said...

Sounds like you need a chair with awesome casters in the feet so you can just roll all over the office. "Out the way, lady with a baby!"
Sorry its so uncomfortable...you really are doing a magnificent job! She'll be knocking on that door to get out in no time.

Sandra said...

I'm at 35 weeks and I understand as this is my 2nd and everything hurts more. I worked until a week before my due date with my daughter and finally left on Dr.s orders. I was bored for a week so I can understand wanting to keep working, especially because you love your job. I merely tolerated mine. :)

Anyway, hope the rest of the week goes well and she shows up soon! :)

Jennifer said...

Labor is never quite as you imagine it anyway. I worked right up until I went into labor for both my pregnancies. In fact I went into labor during work for both of my babies. But the beginning of labor is so mild. I swear its a tease... it makes you think "Oh! This isn't so bad! I can totally handle this!" I was able to drive myself home and everything.

Its the hours later when the mega pains come that you realize what you are really in for.

So don't worry. You aren't going to miss out on some dramatic labor scene where Jerry has to rush to wisk you away from work and to the hopsitial. If anything you'll get a little crampy, think, eh no big deal, then its starts getting stronger and more regular and you realize "this is it! this is really it!! YAYAYAYAYAY!"

You never know, she might still come sometime this week. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I wouldnt' want to work past my due date anyway. Just for the fact that I'd be SUPER BITCHY. I couldn't deal with anyone if I went past my due date (thankfully I never had to!)