It's taken eight weeks, but I'm finally starting to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes without straining them at the seams.
And it feels really good.
Right before Allison was born, I registered a 50 pound weight gain at my doctor's office. Although it was scary to see that number creep ever-higher each visit, at some point, you just have to get over it. To help, Jerry would crack jokes about which weight division I would be in if I decided to enter into ultimate fighting. I still say my gigantic belly would've been an unfair advantage. My opponent couldn't have gotten both arms around me.
In hindsight, I could look back and say I shouldn't have eaten this or that or tried to stick to more of an exercise regimen other than just walking, but I'm not going to be that hard on myself. Being pregnant is a lot of work. It's physically exhausting at times. And if the only thing that sounded good was a vanilla milkshake to calm my heartburn? Well, I pulled out the blender and made one. And if my body wanted me to skip a walk and take a nap? That's exactly what I did.
I'm not going to say it's been easy looking at my body for the past few weeks. Although I shed about 30 pounds almost immediately, nothing was toned anymore. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I had rolls in places I'd never had rolls before. And the skin underneath my bellybutton still looks like it belongs on a shar pei.
Top all that off with my lovely purple stretchmark scars, and it was really tough not to feel completely deflated.
The clincher was when someone handed me a glossy print of a photo they had taken of me about four weeks after giving birth. It looked like I was smuggling a spare tire under my shirt. For a tractor trailer. You know, just in case one had a blowout in front of my house.
But it was the holiday season, and you try resisting the 12 trays of once-a-year cookies my mom has on her kitchen counter.
So I made a decision not to beat myself up about it if the weight didn't come off immediately.
Then, slowly but surely, I've noticed a change. I'm not in my skinny jeans just yet, and probably won't be for awhile, but I'm not in my fat pants anymore either.
And, for now, that's good enough for me.