Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Wishing I could've gotten the shots for her

Allison grew an inch in eight weeks and it's completely astounding to me. I mean, if humans kept growing at that pace, we wouldn't be able to stand up as adults because we'd hit our head on the moon.

She also gained almost two pounds. Which, to be honest, doesn't seem quite as impressive because I can gain two pounds just by looking at a piece of cheesecake. And if I actually eat it? Then I can dent concrete sidewalks when I jump.

We took Alli to her two-month appointment yesterday and the whole time I had this horrible knot in my stomach knowing that she had to get her first round of vaccinations. Sure, not only is it completely terrifying to know there are a number of risks like allergy complications, likelihood of fever, the recent wave of recalls because of possible contamination and, even more scary, the belief that it may cause autism. But to top it off, I knew it was going to hurt her.

I mean, here is this perfect little being and I was voluntarily driving her to get dormant diseases pumped into her body. What parent wouldn't be concerned about that?

But I just kept telling myself that Jerry and I had the same inoculations when we were her age with no ill effects. And they've even been improved since then.

The measurements were the fun part of the appointment. She is 23 inches long and weighs 10 pounds, 11 ounces, which places her in the 75th to 90th percentile for height and 50th to 75th percentile for weight. Go boobs, indeed. My little girl is thriving.

When it came time for the shots, the doctor said she would scream and that we could pick her up after the oral vaccine was given.

I couldn't watch as he placed three needles into her thighs in rapid succession. I just put my finger in her left hand as her face quickly changed from calm to shock to pain and her mouth emitted a wail I hadn't ever heard before. Without exaggeration, it physically hurt me. A horrible achy feeling filled my chest and I couldn't prevent the few tears that rolled down my cheeks. Frankly, I wanted to sob, but I contained myself only because I was in public.

She had a heart-wrenching look on her face and whimpered steadily until we got the car moving, then she passed out.

I coddled her a little more than usual when we got home, but for the most part, she just slept. And when she woke up for her bath and last meal of the day, she was all smiles. It's as if she knew I needed a sign so I wouldn't worry all night.

My girl's a trooper.


LeslieAnn said...

Aww, poor baby. My sister-in-law didn't have my niece get half of the vaccines because she's not sure they're necessary and think they may cause more harm than good. I just tend to think, "If I had them how are they not good for baby?" Ha, we'll see how I feel once I actually have kids. In another six or seven years.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for doing the best for her even though it was difficult in the short term. And even better, you were able to keep control of your emotions while doing it!

Marcy said...

Just imagine if she were to actually get one of those diseases you're vaccinating her against, and thank god for medical advances! (and the fact that there's much credible data out there disproving any connection between vaccines and autism)

I took my cat to the vet this morning to get her shots, and as much as she whined and hated it, I kept thinking how much worse it'll be when we're having to take our little baby boy to get his shots. =(

aahcoffee said...

I hate that look of utter trust and then utter confusion that comes right after it. Ugh. I'm with ya!!!

Jen said...

The first time I brought my oldest daughter in for her shots was the first time in my life I finally "got" what my Mom meant about my pain being her pain. Before I had kids I sorta got it, but now... I completely get it. And let me tell you.... as your children get older you appreciate and love your own parents even more for all they did for you.

Another similar situation.. my oldest's first birthday. My whole life I thought my birthday was all about me. Then, when I had a child of my own I realized its not just a special day for me... its a HUGE special day for my mom too. Its a day where moms will always relive the day their child was born. They celebrate for the child, but inside, mom's know that its THEIR special day too. I think that was the first birthday where I told my MOM thanks for all she did for me and I hoped that she had just as special a day too. If it doesn't make sense now... trust me, wait til allison's first bday and you'll see what I mean.

You are a prefect mommy and I'm glad you are enjoying this so much. (((HUGS!!!))))

Erin in Scranton said...

If it makes you feel any better, she'll never remember the shots. Think about it -- none of us do!

Janice said...

Aww, she sure is a trooper!

Jaxon said...

I know it's awful but I would just think of a century ago when many many children didn't make it to their fifth birthday because of all those diseases that are banished now with a prick in the thigh. It quickly put things in perspective.

But I cried anyway. Ice cream is the proper response to shot day. Double dip required.

Chris said...

I cried for the first, second, third set of shots with all 3 of my kids and all the other shots they need too. My Son didn't even cry with his first shots but I sure did!

chelsea said...

They've actually proven there is no link with vaccines and autism. She is a trooper!

Ray said...

Awww, I'm sorry you had to go through it but, at least you got it over with. And great of Allison to smile for you, when you needed it most.

But back up a second: "Vaccinations cause Autism????!" That is insane and completely scary. Or did you mean that if she didn't get it that it "could" cause Autism? Either way it's a scary thing.

But I know that in the end, your little baby girl will be just fine.

Take, care.

no babies on the plains said...

BTW, People tend to forget what happens without the vaccinations, more than a hundred years ago something much, much worse touched virtually every family at least once.

On a brighter note, I remember my mom telling me about an experience very similar to yours, holding back that tear deacdes ago. Thank you for bringing that memory of her telling me that story to mind again!

kriston said...

I'm right with you. Wait until you have to hold her down to allow them to give the shots. I feel like someone should take me to jail or something. It's terrible. I think we all feel like that but I'm still sorry you had to go through it.

Kristin said...

"Your girl."
That's such a nice phrase, eh?


jsi said...

And you'll see in every doctor's office, on the corner table, the box of kleenex. There for runny noses, sneezes, and moms whose little ones are getting their shots.
"This hurts me more than it does you" is so unbevlievably true.
Good to know she is growing storng and healthy.
Embrace and enjoy your day!

Anonymous said...

My sister calls me everytime. "She just had her shots..." sniffle sniffle She freely admits that she cries more than either daughter, but she can't help it. I tell her it's okay. Would you rather not cry or get emotional over it?

I knew you would be a great mommy.

brooke said...

don't worry about the vaccines causing autism. i think it's kind of odd that i JUST got out of psychology class and we were talking about how in a ten year period before the vaccines, the percentage of autistic children was higher than the ten years after the vaccines were required. so when i came home and read this post, and you mentioned it, i just felt like i needed to tell you "don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing, is gonna be alright..."