Wednesday, February 27, 2008

My very own biggest loser

Jerry is so obsessed with "The Biggest Loser" that he recently asked me, in all seriousness, whether the producers would consider choosing him as a contestant if he gained 100 pounds.

When I made fun of him for even considering such an absurd idea, he defended himself the only way he knew how.

"But I could WIN!"


So because he's not heavy enough to be selected for the series, he's taken to assimilating other aspects of the show into his life. Namely the commercials within the show. To him, it's not paid product placement. It's trainer Bob or Jillian telling him these wonderful things will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

When the host announced that the show would be "going green" this season by teaming with Brita instead of using disposable water bottles, Jerry HAD TO HAVE the reusable green water containers the contestants were given.

It didn't matter that we have reusable water bottles of all shapes and sizes in our kitchen. None of them were green. And they certainly didn't have the Biggest Loser logo on them.

And when Jillian suggested chewing a piece of Trident gum with five little calories instead of gorging on a fat-laden snack? GUM! WE MUST GET GUM!

And when Bob showed his team how to make fresh vegetables without losing their nutrients by tossing them into Ziplock zip and steam bags? Jerry bought so many boxes that I wished we had purchased stock in the company beforehand.

Our inaugural zip and steam experience had me more than a little worried. Jerry flipped over the package to find a chart that indicated each bag cooks a piece of raw chicken in four minutes. So, with his new equipment, Jerry packed me dinner to take to work: raw chicken doused in marinade, lovingly sealed in a zip and steam bag.

Good lord. I was taking raw meat to work.

"So, basically, I'm going to get takeout later," I said, laughing, not hiding my skepticism at all.

"Nope! It's gonna be awesome!" Jerry said. "Bob said so."

Then, as he chopped carrots, zucchini and yellow squash for another bag, he wondered aloud if the zip and steam bags had a MySpace page, because he wanted to be their No. 1 friend.

When I got to work, I informed all of my coworkers about the raw chicken I had in the fridge for dinner, thanks to Jerry's unhealthy obsession with a reality TV show. By the time I was hungry, everyone was very curious for me to try it out.

Much to my surprise, not only did it work, but it was delicious. I practically shredded the chicken into minuscule pieces looking for even the slightest hint of pink, but it was cooked all the way through. And the veggies were wonderful with just a bit of olive oil and garlic.

I ate my dinner and my pride by calling Jerry and telling him that, yes, the zip and steam bags are every bit as wonderful as trainer Bob said they were.

Today we have another episode on our DVR to watch.

I wonder what product we'll be investing in next.


kristin said...

I need to try these bags. I haven't bought them b/c I was a total skeptic like you. But that's a pretty good stamp of approval.

Anonymous said...

Haha! Jer is hilarious.

But my gosh, do those bags work! I was skeptical too at first, but as soon as I tasted the most perfectly cooked broccoli on the planet, I was won.

julie said...

Dude, that sounds yummy!! I might have to try those.

Speaking of products to buy... what breast pump do you use? And is it manual or battery/electric?

Anonymous said...

thanks for this. I've been missing the Jerry stories lately, not that there's anything wrong with baby A

Ray said...

Oh goodness! Jerry is just too funny. I like the fact that things in your house never get boring. Can I move in? Hahaha, j/k. With that said: "I hope I have a Jerry in my life one day, to make the every day's of life amusing and interesting." =)

Take, care.

jsi said...

"Bob said so".
I love the bags!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!!! My first thought about Jerry gaining the 100 pounds was a Simpsons episode when Homer tries to gain weight to get a disability check for being overwieght!!! haha Jerry is hilarious!!!

Marina said...

Thought you might enjoy that. :)

As Seen on TV plainsman said...

AS SEEN ON TV! Bet Jerry's Mom could never get him to eat those veggies. Ah, the magic of TV!

chelsea said...

That sounds good! I've never seen biggest loser though..

April said...

For those veggies in the bag add Morton's Nature's Seasonings. It's got a blue cap and a yellow label. It makes it that much more amazing. And also, asparagus. Definitely asparagus. Ya'll will want it every single night of the week, stinky pee be damned!