I woke up so well rested yesterday that I went into Allison's room and told her what a great day it was going to be.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Jerry and I got into a lovely argument over the #@%ing car seat again because Alli has outgrown the original settings. And we never had to adjust the straps to begin with thanks to a very helpful nurse at the hospital.
So there we were, four arms elbow-deep in the fifteen layers of the seat, searching for something, anything that looked like if you finagled it, it would lengthen the straps. After 20 minutes and what might as well have been a tug-of-war match, we were nearly ready to pull a Britney and simply ride with our daughter on our laps when we needed to drive somewhere.
If I didn't know otherwise, I would suspect the manufacturers of car seats were trying to torture adults, not save children.
But after what can only be described as divine intervention, we figured it out. And we kissed and made up, apologizing for all of the nasty things we said about each other just moments earlier. Of course I didn't really mean it when I said I was contemplating buying a one-way ticket to Zanzibar. Although I bet the safari tours would be amazing.
Then, right when we thought life had returned to status quo, I left for work.
And discovered Jerry's car was tilted at sort of a weird angle.
Probably because of that flat tire on the front passenger side.
As I turned around to go back inside, I knew Jerry was going to explode. So I tried to break the news to him very gently.
"Take a deep breath."
"You're going to need it."
Because your car has a flat.
That's when I saw the flames shoot off the crown of his head. It was the one night in a month that we both needed to be someplace and, therefore, needed both vehicles to be in working order.
In the midst of profanities that couldn't be rivaled at a swearing convention, Jerry tugged on his shoes and went to take out his anger on the tire. After more than an hour, he nearly gave up when he realized the rim had nearly solidified to the axle. But he had parked the car in the alley, blocking in my vehicle, permanently stranding us at the house until he managed to get the donut on, which apparently gave him all of the incentive he needed.
Nothing a hammer, a rubber mallet and pent-up aggression can't fix apparently.
Then we kissed and made up again. And I promised to return the one-way ticket to Zanzibar I had already purchased online.
Hopefully today will be better. Just in case, I didn't make any predictions to Allison this morning.
Except that there would be diapers.
Lots and lots of dirty diapers.
But that's the kind of crap I can take.