Friday, March 7, 2008

Taking on a life of its own

I'm going bald.

As in hairless.

Without hair.

I'm losing my locks at such a rapid rate that I'm sort of surprised I have anything left to run a brush through.

I've read a ton of literature about how women's hair follicles become like steel traps during pregnancy and that almost no hair falls out for nine months. But I had no idea that the situation would reverse itself so completely and quickly after giving birth.

I practically leave a path of hair behind me when I walk. Hansel and Gretel wouldn't have needed bread crumbs if I had been hanging out with them. We could've just followed the furry trail out of the forest.

I am constantly freeing myself from rogue strands that make their way off my head. You know how you get that annoying little tickle where it aggravates your skin every time you move, and then you paw at it blindly, trying to grasp something that's so small your fingers can't even detect it? So you keep trying and trying and trying until you finally trap that sucker and it feels like a major victory?

Imagine doing that every second of every day. Pawing at the one that's sticking to the back of your right shoulder. And the one that found its way down the front of your V-neck shirt. And the one that's still half tangled in your head, but far enough down that it's tickling your neck. And the one that somehow managed to fall into the back of your pants and wedge itself firmly into your ass crack. Yeah. That one's my favorite.

Then there are the clumps. They come out together in little hair gangs when I run my fingers through. It's like they refuse to travel alone. They grew together, they're leaving together. In mass quantities.

The shower is the worst. I've always lost a few strands under the water, but now it's enough to form a baseball-sized clump. If I forget to move the clump from the drain to the garbage, Jerry very kindly reminds me that I left my pet hedgehog in the tub and it might need to be fed before it gets angry.

I think I'll name him Harry.


Marcy said...

Towards the end of pregnancy I found myself longing for long hair again, how fun it is to play with, how pretty it can look when styled nicely.

Ever since D was born, I've been SO GLAD to have short hair. I haven't noticed the hair falling out yet, but I imagine when it starts it'll just be another reason I'm glad to have my cropped cut.

the plainsman said...

Just saw on the nightly news this past week amout "mom-nesia," that it takes a while for a woman's body to reach equilibrium again following pregnancy. Guess it is all the changes during pregnancy that we read about, seldom hear about the after journey when everything balances out again. I'm sure the hair will return to pre-pgrenancy conditions soon.

Sarah-Jean said...

Oh God yes! lol I forgot to warn you about that one... ;-)

I am losing hair left and right. And I too have a pet hedgehog in my shower and my husband doesn't like him either.

It really is a dire situation.

Maybe from the nursing hormones?

jsi said...

Yep, it really happens.
Nope, it's not your imagination.
Yep, it gets worse before it gets better.
Nope, there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Yep, you could cover a small ottoman with the amount you lose.
Nope, you will not get compassion from the grossed out family who experience the shock of a "small hedgehog named Harry" left in the tub or shower.

Sorry about the shock of it all.

chelsea` said...

You should probably try to not place too much heat on your hair (blow drying, straightening..) that may just be adding insult to it. Hormones are so much fun!

Ray said...

Can't you see a doctor for any recommendations? I never heard of losing hair after pregnancy. I hope your situation gets reversed back soon.

Take, care.

Kristin said...

I die when I don't read your blogs for AN ENTIRE WEEK.
But I'm revived now.
So it's cool.


Jennifer said...

Ah, I hate that itchy hair down the ass crack!

Rachel said...

perfectly stated. I'm almost 6 months postpartum, hacked off half my hair, and still leave a shag carpet in the bathroom after a blowdry...

Jessica said...

I completely remember sitting on the sofa watching, running my fingers through my hair (as I tend to do) & ending up with quite a pile of hair on the ground. I'm so glad that didn't last long.

Don't worry, you won't go bald! :)