Sometimes Jerry and I find ourselves in such random situations that he is convinced he's the unsuspecting subject on his very own "The Truman Show." For those who didn't see the movie -- which, incidentally, I consider to be among my Top 10 all-time favorites -- Jim Carry finds out that his entire life is a reality TV show and he's the only one not in on it.
Well, yesterday afternoon was so nice that we decided to take a walk and run a few errands around town. After Allison reminded us that we should start to head home, I spotted two small animals a few blocks ahead.
"Are those loose dogs?" I asked.
"No, they're too small," Jerry said, squinting to try and determine their shape and gait. "Cats, maybe?"
So we kept going. And, sure enough, when we got to the block that we had seen the animals, two tiny terriers came flying at us, barking and growling. To be honest, they were completely adorable even though they were trying to be tough. I could tell both of them were puppies -- one about the size of Toby and the other a little smaller. Neither of them had collars, but they looked well cared for and fed.
We tried to ignore them and keep walking, but they were determined to take issue with Toby and had him surrounded. I know he could've held his own, but I didn't want him getting hurt, so I suggested that Jerry simply pick him up, which he did.
Then we kept walking and tried our best to continue ignoring them, figuring they would either get tired of not getting a reaction from us or we would reach a distance they weren't comfortable venturing past.
But that never happened. The dogs kept yipping and growling and Alli started crying at the commotion. Toby handled it like a champ, but the raised fur on his back told us he could freak out at any moment, so Jerry was doing everything he could to keep him calm.
And just then, out of the corner of my eye, I watched as the bigger of the two leaped up and firmly bit Jerry in the ass.
As Jer let out a shocked "YOW!," further startling Toby and Allison, I thought, "Aw, HELL no! No dog's cute enough to get away with THAT." So I turned around and got defensive.
They immediately took off when they saw my demeanor change, but I still couldn't believe they had gotten that bold.
"That asshole bit me!"
When we got home, Jerry immediately pulled down his pants and had me inspect his left butt cheek. It was red, and will probably bruise, but the skin wasn't broken.
"Well, on the bright side, it gives you something to talk about on the air tomorrow."
"People must think I make this stuff up."