Yesterday was my first solo shopping outing with the bambino, and about halfway through, I started wondering why I ever waited so long. What had I been afraid of?
Then Allison refreshed my memory.
She had been so pleasant and wonderful that I found myself actually meandering through the aisles of Target rather than speeding from one area of the store to another, frantically trying to grab everything on my list.
When she lost interest in her toes, I handed her one of the toys that I had stowed away in my purse. When she lost interest in that, I handed her the second toy I had packed.
Then, much like a volcano that's about to erupt, she started huffing and puffing.
Baby sunscreen. I needed sunscreen.
A smile, good.
Another smile. Thank you, lord.
Where in the hell is the sunscreen?
Sunscreen dammit. It's gotta be here somewhere.
SUNSCREEN. Where in the ... I JUST NEED SUNSCREEN!
Oooh! Look at this toy you've totally lost interest in! Wee! FUN!
THERE IT IS! Okay. We're leaving ... PEEK-A-BOO!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AH, AH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
By the time I made it through a line to pay, I was practically shoving money down the cashier's throat. I felt like just giving her my entire purse, saying "This outta cover it," and running out of the store.
If Alli had really been a volcano, her wails would've been deadly molten lava killing everyone and everything in her wake. First of all, me.
Then, not three seconds into our drive, she was asleep and stayed that way for two hours after I got back home.
But I'm not sure who was more exhausted -- her or me.