After ripping the entire comforter, blanket and sheet out from underneath Jerry's dead weight, stealing back my pillow and fumbling into bed in the darkness, Jerry started mumbling something.
"Imunna pee myself."
Then he proceeded to shuffle to the bathroom, dragging his feet along the carpet repeating, "Imunna pee myself."
A few seconds later, I heard what can only be described as a gorge emptying into a lake. Then he shuffled into the adjoining office where I heard a bunch of struggling and joints cracking and a few grunts. Then he returned to bed.
"Um, what just happened in there?"
In a mumbled whisper he said, "Long story short, I peed on my sweatpants then I tried to change, but my big toe got stuck in my boxer hole and I nearly fell over and I ripped my boxers in half ... long story short."
I could only think of one thing to say.
"I have to get up right now or I'll forget to write about this in the morning."