As Jerry puts it, he has "Pens fever" right now. "Bad."
For those not in the National Hockey League know, the Pittsburgh team is a few wins away from the Stanley Cup -- the equivalent of a gold medal in the Olympics or having a pair of Manolo Blahniks in your shoe collection.
To mark the team's success, my newspaper put out a six-part poster series that combined to make one giant poster. All last week, Jerry ran out to the porch in search of the latest installment. Then he lovingly placed them in a pile on the dining room table.
When the final piece came today, he moved the candle centerpiece (and the car seat, diaper bag, pile of toys, dog leash and baby blankets) to put it all together.
"It's beautiful," he marveled.
To be honest, it reminded me of the moment the father plugged in the glowing leg lamp for the first time in "A Christmas Story."
"Why don't we hang it up over there?" I suggested, pointing to a bare wall in the living room.
Then Jerry turned to look at me as if I'd lost my mind. Put a sports poster ... on the WALL? With tape? In the same room as the Pottery Barn nut bowl? It would be like seating a homeless man soaked in his own urine at a black-tie White House dinner.
"It needs a frame, right?" he asked.
"No, crazy," I said. "I know you won't want it up there forever, so how about until the final game?"
I cut the edges off, taped it together and attempted to stick it on the wall. Unfortunately, our walls are textured, so there was no hope of it staying. It fell within seconds. After suggesting to Jerry that he go out to buy a roll of duct tape and make our house really ghetto, he shook his head.
"No, I can't do it. It's too college dorm room," he said. "It just wouldn't feel right."
I handed the poster to him saying we'd find a way to make it work and figured he'd let it go for now. But after a few minutes, and a whole lot of rustling in the kitchen, I couldn't help but ask what he was doing.
I asked him again.
So I picked up Allison where we had been playing on the floor and went to see for myself.
"LOOK! IT WORKED!" Jer said proudly.
He had taped the poster to the edges of the giant frame in the back stairwell.
Covering our wedding photo.
"AND IT EVEN HAS A FRAME NOW!"
Apparently his "Pens fever" made him delusional.