Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Next we'll put an old toilet in our front yard and plant flowers in it

As Jerry puts it, he has "Pens fever" right now. "Bad."

For those not in the National Hockey League know, the Pittsburgh team is a few wins away from the Stanley Cup -- the equivalent of a gold medal in the Olympics or having a pair of Manolo Blahniks in your shoe collection.

To mark the team's success, my newspaper put out a six-part poster series that combined to make one giant poster. All last week, Jerry ran out to the porch in search of the latest installment. Then he lovingly placed them in a pile on the dining room table.

When the final piece came today, he moved the candle centerpiece (and the car seat, diaper bag, pile of toys, dog leash and baby blankets) to put it all together.

"It's beautiful," he marveled.

To be honest, it reminded me of the moment the father plugged in the glowing leg lamp for the first time in "A Christmas Story."

"Why don't we hang it up over there?" I suggested, pointing to a bare wall in the living room.

Then Jerry turned to look at me as if I'd lost my mind. Put a sports poster ... on the WALL? With tape? In the same room as the Pottery Barn nut bowl? It would be like seating a homeless man soaked in his own urine at a black-tie White House dinner.

"It needs a frame, right?" he asked.

"No, crazy," I said. "I know you won't want it up there forever, so how about until the final game?"

"AWESOME."

I cut the edges off, taped it together and attempted to stick it on the wall. Unfortunately, our walls are textured, so there was no hope of it staying. It fell within seconds. After suggesting to Jerry that he go out to buy a roll of duct tape and make our house really ghetto, he shook his head.

"No, I can't do it. It's too college dorm room," he said. "It just wouldn't feel right."

I handed the poster to him saying we'd find a way to make it work and figured he'd let it go for now. But after a few minutes, and a whole lot of rustling in the kitchen, I couldn't help but ask what he was doing.

"Nothing."

Right.

I asked him again.

"Nothhhing."

So I picked up Allison where we had been playing on the floor and went to see for myself.

"LOOK! IT WORKED!" Jer said proudly.

He had taped the poster to the edges of the giant frame in the back stairwell.

Covering our wedding photo.

"AND IT EVEN HAS A FRAME NOW!"

Men.

Apparently his "Pens fever" made him delusional.

9 comments:

Amy said...

Obviously hockey is much more important than some silly wedding. Pffft! Jerry cracks me up with the things he comes up with.

Anonymous said...

Oh, men. What will they come up with next?

Traci said...

Hi! I have a comment not at all related to this post but I was reading around today and ran across this:

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

And thought of you. I knew you'd mentioned that Allison had "regressed" in her sleeping and thought this explained it very well just in case you're still looking for answers. = )

gorakagaz said...

no pic? at least it's only temporary =]

the plainsman said...

Came across this unretouched photo of an actual penguin in an office FWD:FWD:FWD two days ago, and since I can't post it here, will email to you so Allison knows what a "real penguin" looks like. Never mind the Pens logo on his chest and #66 on his "sleeve." LOL

chelsea said...

I shouldn't be speaking because my room is covered with Yankees photos. Oh man you should take a pic for us =)

Candi said...

That's TOO GREAT.

And so male.

LeslieAnn said...

I love the Pens. Crosby is an awesome player. Plus he's kinda cute. But, sorry to say, it's going to be the Wings this year. ;) Hopefully our teams will get to battle each other for the cup. Yeah hockey!

Ray said...

"...The equivalent of a gold medal in the Olympics or having a pair of Manolo Blahniks in your shoe collection."

^^LOVE the Manolo Blahniks part! ^o^

And, Jerry is just too much! But look at it this way, it's just a few short games away, so when it's all over, the poster will be gone too. =)

Take, care.