Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I know what's going to top my Christmas list this year

I used a chainsaw yesterday.

It was faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to cut through branches in a single swipe.

I was Super Sawer.

The big green monstrosity in our yard that we referred to as tree-bush finally met its long-awaited demise. For three years we'd been looking at that hideous thing, dreaming of the day we could plant something else in its place.

But the biggest rush didn't come when I watched our friend's truck forcefully yank the 4-foot-wide stump from the ground, enabling me to revel in the resulting crater of possibility.

It was feeling the weight of that power tool in my arms, the motor vibrating my bones.

After the guys took a few swipes at the trunk-like branches, I was itching to try it. Roger gave me a quick tutorial and handed over the machine. It was heavy and hot, the exhaust spewing at my legs. I placed the saw up to the branch I wanted to cut and pressed a button on top and a lever on the bottom to turn it on.

Before I knew it, wood chips were flying in every direction, covering everything from my hair to my flip-flopped feet in sawdust. My muscles strained as I pushed through the limb, then the tension finally gave way as it fell to the ground.

I let out a scream.

"WOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo! ... THAT was AWESOME!"

If I was the type of person to wear a cowboy hat, I would've waived it over my head and slammed it to the ground. To be completely honest, a "Yee Haw!" was on the back of my lips, struggling to escape. But I squelched it.

My heart was pounding, my blood was flowing -- it was such an adrenaline rush. With wide eyes, I powered through another branch. And another. And another.

When my arms were threatening to give up on me, my back was screaming and my legs were shaking, I regretfully handed it back over to Jerry.

If my body hadn't started protesting the activity, I probably would've left a wake of limbs and leaves through our entire back yard until everything was leveled to the grass.

But it would've been worth it.


Annie said...

Holy crap Kelly! I can't believe you used a chainsaw while wearing only flip flops! Are you freaking nuts! Not just for protection of your feet, but also for support and stability you should have been wearing something other than flip flops.

My Dad had been using a chainsaw for more that 15 years and had a really bad chainsaw accident when I was a kid. He needed over 150 stiches in his calf.

NatalieDeltaGam said...

haha!! you say that now...but after spending my life growing up on a christmas tree farm, i can't stand chain saws or augers...they make my arms and back hurt for weeks! :-)

....oh, and i'm pregnant, bytheway. ;-) due 1/24.

Amy said...


Kristin said...

I would never get up the courage to handle one of those, lol.


Ray said...

"For three years we'd been looking at that hideous thing, dreaming of the day we could plant something else in its place." << Three years???? I thought you guys just moved in like last year. Am I missing something....?

And a chainsaw sure does a great job at making you feel powerful. What a great feeling that must have been. You writing could put anybody there.

Also: this Christmas I want a Playstation 3 (one can only dream, LOL). =)

Well, take care.

Anonymous said...

-Makes chainsaw noise just for kicks-

novelle360 said...

Believe it or not, we moved in three summers ago.

Ray said...

RYC: OMG, I'm losing it then!!!! Haha, wow three summers ago. Where is my head? =P Also thanks for the comment on my Xanga. I appreciate it.

Take, care.

the_plainsman@xanga said...

Wooo-hoo! First you write an enthusiastic piece about driving, now a great one about the coolness of chainsaws!

Would echo the comment about good heavy footwear, some eye protection and some heavy old jeans though. As experienced as I am, I managed to tear up a pair of jeans this past year as I lowered the saw as it was coasting to a stop. Saved my skin, though!

LeslieAnn said...

Haha, I freaked out like Ray did. Reading that I thought, "Holy crap! Where has the time gone?!" Good to know I wasn't the only one. I can't believe I've been reading your writing for four years. It's definitely been cool to see the changes in your life though.