Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Maybe he needs suspenders and that pole hook thing

Jerry and I have talked extensively about getting another dog. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Jerry: "Lets get another dog."

Me: "Absolutely not."

Jerry: "Toby would love it."

Me: "Toby would HATE it."

Jerry: "C'mon, it'd be great ... wait ... Toby! Don't lick the baby! And stop eating my socks! And, no! Don't dig at the carpet! ... OK, so what was I saying?"

Me: "You want another dog."

Jerry: "Yeah, just think how great would it be!"

Sure. Let me imagine forcing our very clingy dog to give up even more of his once undivided attention. I can picture it now -- defiantly pissing all over our mattress, ripping the heads off Allison's toys and maybe tugging down a curtain or three. Yep. Lets go to a breeder RIGHT NOW. I'm sure I'll get used to urine-soaked pillows in no time.

Jerry envisions a completely different scenario. A household utopia where Toby instantly befriends the new intruder and they walk paw-in-paw to their now community water bowl. Then they take turns doling out the kibble -- one for you, one for me. Then they retire for the evening after exchanging complementary butt whiffs.

So when our neighbors asked if we would watch their two very large dogs while they're in Tennessee this week, Jerry immediately agreed. He pictured it as the perfect opportunity to convince me that we should start a canine collection.

But after only two days, I think it's had the opposite effect.

This afternoon I stood back and laughed so hard the sound refused come out of my throat anymore as I watched Jerry try to get all three dogs into the backyard. He was running around the house like a drunk sheepherder employing any means necessary to get the dogs to comply: tugging on leashes, blockading doorways, bribing with treats, running and feigning excitement at LOOK! OUTSIDE! AWESOME! LETS GO!

Then, just when he was about to get the last one out, the two already on the back porch came barreling in, and all of them scattered in different directions.

He could've spiraled a hot pizza loaded with Milkbones out the back door like a discus and none of them would've noticed or cared.

Cap that off with a walk impeded by constantly crossed chains, nowhere to sit on the couch and not being able to take two steps without running into a body covered in fur, and I think Jerry has suddenly come over to my side of the two-dog debate.

And I haven't even handed him the pooper scooper yet.

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6 comments:

Marcy said...

This was pre-baby, but when we got a 2nd cat back in California, I was really worried about how our sweet, attentive, loving kitty would handle it. It took her about 6 months to adjust and accept this intruder, but then they became friends and wrestling buddies, and when we came back from being away for a weekend our 1st cat went from not being able to contain her excitement at seeing us and needing to be petted over and over for HOURS, to lifting her head up from cuddling with her new sister and saying, "'Sup."

Then we had to give that 2nd cat up, and with the baby our poor attentive kitty doesn't get as much love as she used to. Once we move back to the US we'll get another cat again, and I think she'll be happier with a buddy once again.

Ray said...

Haha! Funny story. And I agree with you: TOBY would NOT have it with another dog in the house on a permanent basis. That would just be chaos! =)

Jennifer Suarez said...

Having 2 kids = AMAZING
2 dogs? Not so much!

Glad Jerry is starting to see the light.

Adrienne said...

Getting a second dog just sorta happened for us. But it couldn't have been better. They love each other, are constant playmates, and are very content to just enjoy each other's company. Now three dogs is another story. Our house is a bit nutty when the little dog down the street comes for a playdate. :)

Candi said...

Oh, that's great.

If you did give in to his side of the argument at some point, at least you'd have daily entertainment in addition to urine-soaked bedding.

Kristin said...

lmao.
we have two dogs.
it's fantastic =|

-KrIsTiN-