Thursday, July 3, 2008

Day 4 in the trenches

Dear Blog,

The tiny terrorists came again yesterday. That makes four days now. And it's not getting any easier because they keep changing their warfare tactics.

I'm no match for toddlers.

After playing with the same colorful plastic pieces for days on end, I finally came to the conclusion that their goal must be to slowly drive me to mental instability so they can take over and throw vegetables around the kitchen. And to coerce Allison to join rank.

She's already showing signs. Right now she's blabbering incessantly. Now they just need to teach her to amp up the volume.

So I fought back. I dug into my weaponry arsenal and settled on the big one: a Disney movie. I just couldn't take the questions anymore.

But just when I thought I had won, when both older girls were quietly seated on the couch with a snack and an hour and 35 minutes of blissful animation, they outwitted me yet again.

The questions continued.

Why'd he do that? Why's he scared? Why do they all live together like that? What's that say? Where'd he go? Why? What's that say? What's on his shirt? Why's he going there? How did he know they'd be there? Is he still scared? Are they friends? That's the bad guy, huh? But the good guy's gonna win, right? Can I have some more juice? And gummies? Can you open them more? What's the baby doing? Can I sit in the swing next? Why not? What movie? Can I blow bubbles?

During the movie questioning onslaught, I actually came up with a good answer that gave them pause. Even if just momentarily.

"I don't know the answer, why don't you tell me? I'm sure you've seen this movie much more than I have."

I saw the gears turning. Then the screen flashed and another question must've popped to mind. "Why's he doing that?"

I almost raised the white flag, but then it was time for them to go.

They'll be back today and I've blown every idea I've had. So I'm sure this is it. This is where they defeat me, annex the house and rule with sticky fingers and stomping feet.

I hope I'll be around to write tomorrow, but if I don't make it out alive, it's because I probably ran out of juice and gummy snacks.

Regretfully theirs,
The captive


Traci said...

Yes, it is always a pain in the butt to watch tv/movies with my daughter. Something will happen (anything, it doesn't matter what) and she'll say, "What?" And then we end up narrating the entire show.

gorakagaz said...

haha...i'm hopeless when looking after kids too.i like the ones that answer their own questions with really long anecdotes; as long as i somewhat pay attention and say "uh-huh" they're good. here's to hoping you make it out alive. and are we gonna see pics of your work in progress? or are you gonna unveil the finished product?

Jennifer Suarez said...

LOL wait.. You are feeding them juice and gummy snacks? LMAO I can only imagine what the added sugar is doing to their already hyper attitudes. hee hee!

Best of luck to you! Here's an idea for you that we use on our kids when they get hyper... go outside and make them foot race each other. If you can get them to run fast for about an hour, they'll all pass out. You'd be surprised how long they can keep running, but trust me... keep it up and they WILL run outta steam.

Just keep thinking of ways to tire them out. Lifiting, throwing, climbing... all that fun outdoorsy stuff. You'll be glad you did. said...

I'm sure somewhere along this busy week/weekend, you and Jerry will take a pause, say it was all worth it and collapse!

Have a Great Fourth of July!

(why they call it fort of july, Kelly....? Kelleeeeee!)

Anonymous said...

My favorite when all else fails is to make home made play dough with the kids. Its fun to make and at least keeps my kids entertained for a while, plus its made with all cooking ingredients so you don't have to worry if they try and eat some of it. There are tons of recipes online...just google it. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

i would suggest water balloons!!

Kristin said...

I hate babysitting.


Kimberly said...

I highly recommend something outside maybe in the form of a craft or interactive activity? We play with Play-Doh (actual spelling, go figure) a lot but only outside or you could color or play with sidewalk chalk or paint? All good outside activities because there is less harm to be done and less clean up, nothing a hose can't fix later. The other options are things that make them run around and get all that energy out. Hide and seek maybe? Or tag? You may have to participate though so be prepared to participate in whatever you suggest. Toddlers are a different breed. Mine will be 4 next month and everyday is a new day. I count small victories and I let go of the defeats in the hopes that she will remember mostly the good things from her childhood.

Ray said...

I absolutely love this entry! Hope the kids drive you too nuts. But since you're still writing, I guess they didn't hurt you too bad. ;o)