The tiny terrorists came again yesterday. That makes four days now. And it's not getting any easier because they keep changing their warfare tactics.
I'm no match for toddlers.
After playing with the same colorful plastic pieces for days on end, I finally came to the conclusion that their goal must be to slowly drive me to mental instability so they can take over and throw vegetables around the kitchen. And to coerce Allison to join rank.
She's already showing signs. Right now she's blabbering incessantly. Now they just need to teach her to amp up the volume.
So I fought back. I dug into my weaponry arsenal and settled on the big one: a Disney movie. I just couldn't take the questions anymore.
But just when I thought I had won, when both older girls were quietly seated on the couch with a snack and an hour and 35 minutes of blissful animation, they outwitted me yet again.
The questions continued.
Why'd he do that? Why's he scared? Why do they all live together like that? What's that say? Where'd he go? Why? What's that say? What's on his shirt? Why's he going there? How did he know they'd be there? Is he still scared? Are they friends? That's the bad guy, huh? But the good guy's gonna win, right? Can I have some more juice? And gummies? Can you open them more? What's the baby doing? Can I sit in the swing next? Why not? What movie? Can I blow bubbles?
During the movie questioning onslaught, I actually came up with a good answer that gave them pause. Even if just momentarily.
"I don't know the answer, why don't you tell me? I'm sure you've seen this movie much more than I have."
I saw the gears turning. Then the screen flashed and another question must've popped to mind. "Why's he doing that?"
I almost raised the white flag, but then it was time for them to go.
They'll be back today and I've blown every idea I've had. So I'm sure this is it. This is where they defeat me, annex the house and rule with sticky fingers and stomping feet.
I hope I'll be around to write tomorrow, but if I don't make it out alive, it's because I probably ran out of juice and gummy snacks.