Saturday, August 9, 2008

Jerryisms

Noticing the box of Cheerios reads, "Lower Your Cholesterol 4% in 6 weeks":
"Allison, your cholesterol must be negative one hundred and fifty."

After I read my fortune cookie aloud, "You're about to embark on a fantastic journey":
"Great. Some guy with a handlebar mustache is going to show up in the back yard with a hot air balloon and you'll be like, 'I'm outta here!'"

Discussing Allison's Halloween costume options, you know, because it's August:
"WE'RE GOING TO BE WRESTLERS! She can be my tag-team partner!"

When I said "Absolutely not":
"Yeah, you probably want to dress her up as something TOTALLY LAME like a watermellon. ... WAIT! I could be the watermellon and she could be a SEED!"

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I am relieved to see that I'm not the only mommy who is already fretting about Halloween costumres. My son was born at the end of last September and so he just wore the world's cutest pumpkin PJs last year. A mom in Babies 'R' Us last week informed me that I better buy his costume now before "all the good ones disapear." Good luck in finding something wonderful for Allison-I'm sure she'll be adorable no matter what.

Candi said...

That last one was total greatness. It got me so tickled.

Because although I've never met your husband, based on the pictures I've seen and stories I've read I can see, in a few months, a photo of him proudly sporting a ginormous watermellon costume, complete with deep red leggings, proudly holding Allison (dressed to the nine's as a little black seed) up to the camera in a display of massive paternal pride.

LOL.

Bitchy Mom said...

ROFL your husband is so funny! Life is never dull.

Anonymous said...

A long, long time ago, back in string mail days, I would occasionally pass along "Dylanisms." Unfortunately, the late teen version has had a funny thing to say in a coupla years now.
Thanks for posting Jerry's.

grace said...

I AM TOTALLY FOR THE WATERMELON IDEA!!!!!!!!!

Jayne said...

HAHAHA. I burst out laughing when I read the watermelon comment. PLEASE. DO IT.

the plainsman said...

The watermellon & seed thing seems prety good, but what would YOU be?

Ray said...

Hehe! I loved the Halloween Jerryims (they were just too cute). But I think I have the perfect costumes for you three. Jerry and you could be, "Popeye & Olive Oyl" and Allison could be, "Sweet Pea." =o)

mercurial scribe said...

This post gave me a much needed laugh. Oh goodness!