Thursday, September 4, 2008


Did you know today is Jerry's birthday? No? It's not marked on your calendar as a national holiday? You don't automatically get paid to celebrate the day he graced the planet with his greatness? It's not mandatory for stores to only sell steak and cake today? And blue Gatorade?

Because if Jerry had his way, that is how it would be. National Jerry's Birthday. Hell, INTERNATIONAL.

No. Wait.


No. Bigger.


Aliens should be shoving particles of flame-broiled cow flanks into their food-processing units in celebration. And communicating in clicky noises about how the galaxy really got interesting 31 years ago today. Forget BC and AD. We should be in JB -- Jerry's Birth.

But Intersolarsystemal Jerry's Birthday wouldn't just be celebrated today. It would be celebrated all week. Like we do every year for my husband who keeps getting older but refuses to let his inner 4-year-old grow up.

The conversations we've been having all month? Starting sometime in early August?

"What should I ask for for my birthday?"

"You could get me that for my birthday. Or that. Or that."

"Or all of them."

"Don't forget Allison has to get me something for my birthday."

"Have you gotten me my presents yet?"

"Can I open one?"

"How about now?"


"Are my presents in the house?"

"We could play the hot/cold game."

"Just let me unwrap one."


"How about now?"

To shut him up, I jokingly presented the ghetto birthday card he got in the mail from Ace Hardware a few days ago as something he could open early.

And wouldn't you know he was thrilled. FIVE BUCKS OFF! A PURCHASE OF $20 OR MORE! BECAUSE I'M SPECIAL!

And even though we usually celebrate his specialness early with my family, then have another party and another cake with his family and YET ANOTHER CAKE AND PARTY on his actual birthday, he somehow manages to extend the event even longer.

Like this year his big present is a trip to Pittsburgh to see the home opener Steelers game. And the day before that? Tickets to seats on the 50-yard line for the Penn State home opener. That he got from work. After explaining to the powers that be that they would make the perfect birthday present.

So his birthday, which is technically the 24-hour period that started at midnight, ACTUALLY started last weekend when we celebrated with my family. And it will wrap up sometime this weekend in a Steelers hard hat in Heinz Field.

But just when I think the insanity is over, just when I think he is satisfied with the festivities and we can resume our normal routine ...

Then he starts looking forward to Christmas.


the plainsman said...

Happy Birthday, Jerry. Looks like we could take lessons from you on how to celebrate!

Jennifer Suarez said...

Happy birthday Jer!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Jerry!

What's Allison getting him? =)

Cece said...

Happy Birthday Jerry!

Anonymous said...

happy birthday jerry! I'm glad to know my husband is not the only adult who goes a little crazy for his birthday. Invitations for my husbands birthday in july went out months before the invitations for our wedding in april.

Anonymous said...

So cute.
Happy Birthday Jerry!

I hope he always thinks like that.

~ Kirs

Bitchy Mom said...

Gosh, I would LOVE IT if my husband was that much fun! lol Every day must be interesting...

Happy Birthday Jerry!

Ray said...

A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT TO JERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!! ^o^ I love how Jerry's such a big kid at heart, it's cute. And I'm already thinking about Christmas myself. I love the holidays.

P.S. I know a day with Jerry is NEVER dull! I hope to one day find someone like that. It makes life more worthwhile.

Miss said...

Happy Birthday to Jerry! You'll be in my 'hood on Sunday - hope you enjoy the game :)

ajandmac said...



im not gonna lie...i get JUST as excited for my's like.. the ME Holiday.. and I really think we should get our birthdays off from work...

his parents musta made his birthdays awesome when he was a kid? ha...

do you get this excited about your birthdays?

Rachel said...

happy birthday Jerry! We are at every Steelers game, so I'll watch for you guys!