Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Plus it was the worst Bill Murray movie of all time

Remember that really awesome groundhog that came into our yard every morning in September to munch on the pears that fell from our tree?

The one I made Toby wait for before I let him outside so he wouldn't disturb the little guy's breakfast?

The one I held Allison up at the kitchen window to see as he ate?

Well, apparently he didn't get his fill gorging on our fruit.

Because the little shit chewed through all of the wires underneath Jerry's car. Important wires. Wires that attach to parts that cost $400.

When all of the indicators on the dashboard of his car started flashing like Christmas lights set to "epilepsy-inducing," we figured it was time to take it to a professional. The technician immediately spotted the problem -- wires that hadn't stood a chance against a gigantic gnawing rodent.

Knowing I wouldn't believe him, Jerry came home holding a little box -- a coffin of sorts -- for his engine's primary and backup oxygen sensors. Sure enough, the wires had three places where it was shredded into a mass of frayed metal.

Of course I don't wish the groundhog harm, but if he comes back next year, I won't be quite so accommodating.

Maybe the pears that fall off the tree will make their way into more pies. Or the trash.

Maybe I'll let Toby go outside whenever he feels like it.

Maybe Allison and I will open the door and step out on the back porch instead of looking out the window.

Or maybe I'll just buy a bear and chain it to Jerry's bumper.

Either way, I'm totally boycotting Groundhog Day from now on.


Ray said...

Wow, I've never heard of something like that happening before. That's crazy! Thank goodness Jerry's car indicators alerted him. They should have covers for underneath the car so that incidents like these don't occur. Although I guess they didn't make such an invention because the chance is rare that it''ll happen. I hope it didn't cost too much for it to be fixed.

Either way that groundhog better not show up again! =P I wouldn't want to mess with you. Haha!

Marina said...

Bah. That movie rocked. That one sentence disqualifies this entire post from my sympathy. ;)

the plainsman said...

Lets do a groundhog DNA test to make sure he was the guilty one!

Looks like squirrel damage to me as those much smaller "varmits" can get into those tiny spaces under car hoods, they like chewing on wires and generally have bad attitudes.

Jerry may have said something on his show that P***** one off! LOL

Anonymous said...

You know you don't actually need those oxygen sensors?
They went out on my mom's car, and the mechanic, who also happens to be my mom's brother, said they're not necessary to replace. FYI.

Lioncloud said...

Mothballs will keep groundhogs away, believe it or not. They can be sprinkled on the ground under the car and the little guys will avoid it. The downside is that your car may smell vaguely like your great-grandmother's closet.

Jennifer Suarez said...

Hmmmm are we sure that Kelly isn't covering for the fact that SHE was the one cutting all of Jerry's important car wires?

LOL... kidding of course... Kelly would be smart enough to go straight for the breakline I'm sure. ;-)

Anonymous said...


costly for sure...

the plainsman said...

Some conversation at lunch about this and contrary to what I believed, it could be the groundhog as well, if he could fit in that spot, but they begin hibernation in October.

"Squirrels, mice, rabbits, chipmunks and an occasional voracious groundhog can chew off ignition and spark plug wires... Even gas lines and battery cables give way to the sharp incisors. We probably see it at least several times a week.” said a service adviser, "especially this time of year — it’s not unusual."

Another solution "short of calling in a professional, he suggested putting granules of predator urine under the car — fox urine, coyote urine, wolf urine or bobcat urine.

Hmm, the cure might be worse than the problem...

Kristin said...

hahaha =P
I remember the groundhog.