Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My very own personal flotation devices

I just pulled out my fat pants again.

My detested I-KNEW-I-should've-skipped-dessert-for-the-past-month pants. My I-wish-I-hated-french-fries pants. My I-have-no-more-excuses pants.

I'm not exactly sure when I noticed it happening, but I can pinpoint the precise moment I started to regain the weight I had so expertly dropped after pregnancy. Allison gave up breastfeeding, but I didn't give up eating for two.

So the calories I used to be burning by making milk started turning into fat globules on my ass cheeks instead.

In my defense, it is incredibly hard to switch gears after being the sole provider of nutrition for yourself and another human being -- in the womb and out -- for almost two years. It's tough to go from being able to eat an entire continent of food and still lose weight to inexplicably turning into a continent by continuing what has become your regular eating habits.

I remember when I came home from the hospital, I wanted to cry at the shape my poor body was in. Nothing fit. Not even my skin on what used to be my toned midsection. I didn't recognize myself.

But my persistence with breastfeeding paid off in more ways than I had ever expected. Not only was my daughter thriving, but the pounds just sort of melted away without even THINKING about working out, let alone actually doing so. Before I knew it, I was sliding into my skinny jeans without looking like I was wrestling an anaconda while I struggled to zip them up.

And all of a sudden, I wasn't out of breath when I got to the top of the steps at my office. I used that as a litmus test after pregnancy. When I'm fit, I can run two at a time without feeling winded. When I'm not, I still take two at a time, but I'd like a person to be waiting for me halfway, holding a cup of water and shouting encouragements like they do on the sidelines of a marathon.

"C'MON, KELLY! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU'RE HALFWAY! KICK THOSE FAT GLOBULES' BUTTS!"

Sigh.

I know what I have to do because I've done it before.

I know I need to prepare better meals so I'm not constantly forced to run for takeout while I'm at work. I know I need to throw out the other half of Allison's lunch instead of eating it just because I don't want it to go to waste. I know I need to pass on the delectable cookies that my coworker brings in from his mother's bakery. Or maybe just eat one instead of 14.

I also know I need to resume working out, but that's something I'm not sure I can do without some intervention. I can't do it at home anymore because Allison would affix herself to my legs and I'd end up trampling her to death. So I'd need a gym with day care, but there isn't one within a reasonable driving distance. Plus, when I get as little sleep as I do, finding the energy to keep my eyelids open is tough enough, let alone coordinating my limbs to do actual physical activities.

Then there is an ongoing list of other excuses like cost, finding time in my already overbooked schedule and lack of workout gear that is acceptable to wear in public.

On top of that? I have to summon the willpower and motivation.

I'm hoping my fat pants will be the inspiration I need.

Otherwise, Allison won't need floaties in the pool this summer. I'll just instruct her to grab onto my globules.

22 comments:

Nikki said...

I know getting used to life-after-eating-for-two can be hard. I have several friends with babies who are going through the same dilemna. I say, start with the eating right. Then start working out later. That way you're not overwhelming yourself with too many changes on top of an already busy life. GOOD LUCK!

Tink said...

Give yourself a break, Kelly, you're a busy lady! Stay motivated and I'm sure you'll get there.

jess said...

i started wearing the i feel fat pants a couple weeks ago... and then they started getting tight. so i'm on the same dilemma as you with my butt globules. :) i'm getting there... i didn't overeat at the superbowl party i went to and i brought my own little weight watchers frozen dinner instead of eating the delivered pizza... so you can do it!

Ray said...

"I can't do it at home anymore because Allison would affix herself to my legs and I'd end up trampling her to death."

^^You can do it at home with Allison there. When she's down for her nap take the opportunity to workout. I know, I know: "Easier said than done." And I know you're busy at home non-stop, but there has to be a way for you to workout somehow.

But anyhow: Fat jeans or not (though I doubt you're wearing anything close to fat jeans), you still ROCK! ;o)

Take, care.

novelle360 said...

Working out during her nap would be a good suggestion if I didn't desperately need the nap myself.

Gisela said...

One word: TREADMILL
Two words: LOW CARB

You know it worked more than well for me. Just run while Alli's taking a nap. Even 15 minutes will do wonders.

Gisela said...

Also, embrace caffeine. Not the healthiest thing but it's my only salvation. I waste 2 hours a day driving and the last thing i wanna do when i get home is work out, but I inhale a Starbucks red-eye and it pushes me through.

Jen said...

Don't be so hard on yourself--you still look great! You know what you have to do to make yourself happy with your weight. Hey, your body pushed out a child, so it's OK to give it a treat. :) When the weather's nicer, maybe Allison will stay put in her stroller for you to take walks. Stay positive!

Jennifer Suarez said...

Best purchase I ever made for myself was my treadmill. It's in our basement in front of a tv. I get up 45 minutes earlier than normal, 3 times a week, and run while watching the news. I end up more awake, energetic, AND informed!

Then I run during my youngest's nap for 1 hour 10 mins every Saturday.

During the week its low cal / low carb and the weekend is for more normal eating and drinking.

Works for me. But I will tell you this. It is SOOOO unfair how easy it is to put on weight, but so much harder to take (and keep) it off. Makes me want to punch a hog dog in the face - if it had a face.

Bitchy Mom said...

Kelly, you have to try Sensa.

You are too busy to go to the gym and with Sensa, you won't have any excuses. You just sprinkle it on every meal you eat and it helps you eat less, gradually. So you lose weight without even thinking about it. Just like breastfeeding.

I've lost 16 pounds since November on Sensa.

Seriously, check it out: http://www.thefashionablehousewife.com/?tag=sensa

Bitchy Mom said...

Here is the clickable link:
Click here to see my blog posts about Sensa

the sleepy plainsman said...

That motivation you have will take you past the other 13 cookies at work, and eating healthier wil be a benefit for all, including setting up Alli for a great life.

The other half, exercise, important but agree with others, phase it in. When I work out regularly, those endorphens kick in giving more energy through the day, not less, and when tired, its the good tired that promotes restfull sleep.

In fact, 8 out of 10 scientists say..that..z z z z z z
......sleeep..z z z z z z z.....

the sleepy plainsman said...

That motivation you have will take you past the other 13 cookies at work, and eating healthier wil be a benefit for all, including setting up Alli for a great life.

The other half, exercise, important but agree with others, phase it in. When I work out regularly, those endorphens kick in giving more energy through the day, not less, and when tired, its the good tired that promotes restfull sleep.

In fact, 8 out of 10 scientists say..that..z z z z z z
......sleeep..z z z z z z z.....

the plainsman said...

Aparantly sleepy plainsmen don't hit the keys squarely and double post. Sorry.

Kristin said...

Just think of all those morbidly obese people, and think about how deliciously hot you look compared to them. That's what I do, anyway, when I'm feeling down about my body xD

-KrIsTiN-

MadBride said...

I just started the 30day Shred by Jillian Michaels and almost threw up. I recommend it :D

Kristy said...

I'm right there with you (though your "fat pants" are much better than my "skinny pants" any day), my daughter is just a month or so older than Allie. I was pregnant or nursing for almost the past four years with my two--it is hard to make the change. As hard as it is to find the time and energy to exercise, I really do feel better when I do. I have an elliptical that sits unused because I don't have a chance to use it when the girls are up and it's too loud to use while they sleep. Here are some ideas from another mom: dance Allie around the living room, use her as a weight, let her crawl on you while you do crunches. It's not perfect, but it's something to get you started and it teaches her about fitness and how it's an important part of taking care of us. When it warms up, perhaps you can get a jogging stroller. Then you get even more exercise than just taking a run by yourself because you're pushing her.

Best wishes!

Gisela said...

Bitchy Mom, how much are you getting paid to promote Sensa on other people's blogs???

Kristen - sorry, but you sound like a major toolbag. "I'm getting tubby, but at least I'm not gross like a really, REALLY fat person!"

Ugh. Some people.

Jennifer Suarez - You really do a low cal AND low carb diet? Doesn't one contradict the other? On a low carb, you should be upping the fat intake which obviously increases the calories. Sounds like a dangerous combo to me.

Nicola said...

I had hit the same problem by finishing her food. Now I give the meat element to the cats, throw what I can out to the birds and the rest goes in the bin.
I also frog march everywhere with her in her buggy/stroller/pram( sorry I'm british!?) And by frog march I mean FROGMARCH! My partner can't keep up with me. Walking is awesome exercise!

Anonymous said...

The answer is easy...just get pregnant again! ;-)

Marcy said...

I'm starting to wean my son now, and am a bit worried about what my metabolism will do once I'm not producing milk anymore. I thought about joining a gym with child care, but I don't know if I want to pay all that money. So I'm trying to get myself to do Donovan-friendly exercise, like taking him walking in his stroller every day, even just for 10-20 mins, and taking him to the park. I figure if I'm being active with him, then I'm being ACTIVE which is what exercise is essentially about. I also am trying to get6 into the habit of dropping and doing 10 push ups or crunches, etc, while D's playing, just quick 5-second things that add up over the course of the day. Not that I've done any of that the past week. BUT seems like good ways to incorporate fitness into life with a toddler. I've never liked doing "workouts" anyway so the hope is if it's all included in the "playing with my son" parts of the day, it'll be easier and more natural.

Heidi said...

Hey Kelly,
Can you get an elliptical or treadmill, and put a baby gate up so Allison can't get to you while you work out? I know tons of people give away their exercise equipment on Freecycle. You just have to ask for it, and I bet you'd get one!
Also, I can totally help you with healthy meals and meal planning. I'm one of your friends on Facebook if you want to ask!
Heidi K.