It recently occurred to me that I haven't written about Jerry in a long time. And right when he was probably about to let a content sigh of relief escape his mouth, I found this questionnaire that delves into the minutia of our relationship. And although I divulge more about myself here every week than some people would ever want to know in their lifetime, these are the types of things I never think to mention.
What are your middle names?
My middle name is Lynne, and Jerry's middle name is Louis. (No, I'm not making that up.) And it just occurred to me that our first names end with the same letter and our middle names start with the same letter. What's that spell? FATE.
How long have you been together?
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About a minute. It was instant attraction for both of us even though we were casually seeing other people. So we did the mature thing: I stopped returning local cop's calls and he dumped what's-her-face via text message. We sleep at night by telling ourselves that it's okay because we got married.
Who asked whom out?
I asked Jerry out, and it's a good thing because he has since told me that he never would've worked up the courage.
How old are each of you?
We're both 31. Born seven months apart, but I like to think that I hit my milestones first.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
Jerry's older sister, Amy, because we live in the same state.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Probably our schedules. Since we work opposite shifts in very demanding industries, we have very little time together when we're both awake and well-rested. We try our best to make quality time every afternoon when he comes home from his job and before I leave for mine to sit down as a family and have lunch. It's just a few minutes before the chaos starts again, but it's something I look forward to every day.
Did you go to the same school?
No. And he reminds me about it every time a Penn State football game comes on. I went to New York State University at Cortland, which barely had a team, let alone a nationally ranked one. We were the Red Dragons, but he likes to ask things like, "How'd the Cortland Apples do this year?"
Are you from the same home town?
No. Jerry grew up in the town next to where we live now, and he's still best friends with his high school buddies, who also still live here with their families. His mother's house has been in the family for four generations. I, on the other hand, moved regularly throughout my childhood and early adulthood. I'm not even sure what's the longest time I've ever been at one address.
Who is smarter?
When it comes to math? Jerry. When it comes to everything else? Me.
Who is the most sensitive?
Good lord, Jerry. If sensitivity was measured in ounces, Jerry would be an ocean.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
I guess the family Italian restaurant a few blocks from our house. Thankfully, the owner has forgiven Jerry for calling him an asshole the first time we ordered takeout from there.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
By car, South Carolina. By plane, Nebraska. By cruise ship, the Caribbean.
Who has the craziest exes?
Let's just put it this way: I've been told that Jerry's Jewish ex-girlfriend's mother brought Cabbage Patch dolls to Christmas dinner. Then there was the girl who ripped his VCR from the wall and slammed it over his head while he was tying his shoes.
Who has the worst temper?
Remember that time that Jerry called the owner of the little Italian restaurant a few blocks from our house an asshole?
Who does the cooking?
I do the majority of the cooking in the winter, but Jerry is excellent in the kitchen. He always offers to make me dinner if I neglect to prepare something to take to work, and he occasionally falls in love with a big cut of meat at the grocery store that just begs to be slow-roasted. In the summer, Jerry takes over when he reignites his annual man-crush on his grill.
Who is the neat-freak?
It's amazing how adding one little girl to the mix throws my neat-freak tendencies into a tailspin.
Who is more stubborn?
The saying shouldn't be "Stubborn as a mule." It should be "Stubborn as Jerry."
Who hogs the bed?
Who wakes up earlier?
The obvious answer is Jerry because his alarm goes off at 3 a.m. five days a week so he can get on the radio and help other people start their mornings. But the real answer is me because if left to his own devices, Jerry would sleep until 3 p.m.
Where was your first date?
This is actually a tough question because we never really defined ourselves as dating, it just sort of morphed into a relationship very effortlessly. Our first time out together was as part of a double date at a basement bar at a dimly lit table covered in initials from decades of carvings. The next night, Jerry came over to my place to watch a movie, and we stayed up the entire night talking. His cell phone alarm jarred us back to reality when it went off at 3 a.m. and he had to run off to work. I stayed up and listened to his entire radio show that morning in a show of sleepless solidarity before heading to work myself.
Who is more jealous?
Perhaps it's a result of former boyfriends cheating on me, but I still have to remind myself that it's okay for Jerry to have female friends.
How long did it take to get serious?
I'd say an engagement ring at six months proves it was serious from the beginning.
Who eats more?
Jerry, but that's not for my lack of trying.
Who does the laundry?
This was pretty equal until someone lost his mojo after turning his favorite long sleeve white T-shirt blue. Although I refuse to touch his Steelers jerseys. I can't imagine the fallout if something were to happen to his authentic Roethlisberger. The polar ice caps would melt instantly. Cities would crumble. The Earth would fall off its axis.
Who's better with the computer?
Neither of us is particularly adept with our electronic equipment. Although, we do have a longstanding duel to see who can make the best desktop background. I'm pretty sure I won last week when I found an old photo of his bare ass.
Who drives when you are together?
I have given up fighting for the keys. I save all my driving up for when we go to New York to visit my family. If I drive, we get there in half the time, and not because I'm speeding. Because I don't get lost.