Phone conversation with Jerry while I was at work:
"So I think we need to establish a new house rule."
"Well, not so much for you maybe, but definitely for me."
"What is it?"
"Whoever just wakes up shouldn't be responsible for a diaper change."
"Dude. IT WAS YOUR TURN."
"Yes, but I screwed up."
"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't put those things on wrong?"
"Well, after dinner, when I picked her up from her highchair, I couldn't figure out why she was all wet. I mean, I hadn't seen her spill anything. ... But she was soaked, so I took her upstairs to change her clothes and ... "
"She didn't have a diaper on."
(Eruption of office-disrupting laughter)
"SHE PEED ALL OVER HERSELF!"
"You're lucky she didn't do anything else!"
"I wonder what she was thinking when she didn't have all that absorbent material to prevent urine from trickling down her legs."
"Probably what a dumbass you are."