Monday, June 1, 2009

There's probably a Hallmark card for this

When you get comfortable enough with a person to pee without shutting the bathroom door, it's important to remember not to take the relationship for granted.

Although it feels like I love Jerry more wholly than anyone has ever loved before, every once in awhile, a portion of my brain reminds me to tell him. Because I certainly don't do a good enough job of it.

The tackle-the-world, goal-oriented side of me is constantly thinking, planning and looking ahead, so I tend to always focus on the things that need attention. Whether it's daily responsibilities like preparing lunch, regular annoyances like paying bills or occasional projects or making plans, it seems like my inner dialogue is constantly consumed, not leaving space for much else.

So the things that are going well -- like my marriage -- get set to autopilot.

It's easy to go through weeks on end flying through our normal routine just looking forward to our next day off. But the truth is, I shouldn't think like that. I shouldn't take for granted that he just mowed the lawn or emptied the dishwasher or filled my gas tank.

It's easy to nitpick that he didn't shut the fridge immediately instead of thanking him for making a new pitcher of lemonade. Or complain that he folded a wrinkle into my shirt instead of appreciating that he put the laundry away.

It's easy to focus on the qualities that drive me crazy rather than the qualities I'm drawn to. How he lights up a room. How he always supports me. How he's always willing to work hard when I am. How his quick wit and quirky observations will keep me laughing a lifetime.

I forget to remind him why he chose to spend his days with me and not anyone else. To sit close on the couch. To steal glances when no one's looking. To tell him he still makes my heart flutter. To prove that we're partners in love not just in life.

Because there was a time I didn't have that. I didn't have someone to be myself with. Someone to tell my deepest fears to. Someone to lean on in my times of need. Someone to laugh with.

Someone so perfectly right for me that it could only be Jerry.

I just have to remember to tell him that.


Anonymous said...

I envy you.

Anonymous said...

oh how wonderful! Don't ever be complacent and go autopilot! Always always tell him (and Allison) how much you love them!

Love makes the world go round (so cliche, but true)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post. It's so easy to focus on the negative than to appreciate even the small things. I'll be sure to go home and thank my significant other tonight for the things he does for me.

Wendy said...

This post definitely hit home. I can't tell you how easy it's been to get caught up in wedding planning and house fixin'-uppin (haha) instead of just taking a time-out with Scott every now and then.

Gotta love our guys -- even when they drive us crazy. :-)

Anonymous said...

If Jerry's heart doesn't swell up in happiness, he should get it checked. This is such a wonderful post. Your strength is in your writing, and I think we readers can all tell how much you love your family. :)

the_plainsman said...

Excellent essay and points for all to remember, Kelly.

Ray said...

"To tell him he still makes my heart flutter."

^^That is so AWESOME that you still have that. May you have it always and forever. <3 <3 <3

And for the record: "You said it better than any Hallmark card ever could!"

MadHousewife said...

this hit home!

cnjweber said...

yea! so glad its not just me who still feels this way after (gulp) 9 years together and 3 married...yeah that's right, I said 9! ah summer '00! Love you girl!