Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The power of good thoughts

I went to see a life coach today. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect or even what her title means for that matter, but the session was free through Jerry's office, so I figured, why not?

Because we live about an hour apart, we agreed to meet somewhere in the middle at a Barnes & Noble. It occurred to me that I had no idea who to look for, but Kim instantly knew it was me when she walked in the door.

She had a very self-assured and confident vibe about her, and I liked that immediately. I like to think I give off that same feeling to people. Or at least that I'm approachable and easy to talk to.

Because it was hot and humid, we both purchased waters and picked an open table in the cafe area. Not being able to help myself, I started hitting her with questions. I guess it's still the reporter in me. When I don't understand something, I can't help but ask.

We talked a good bit about her business, her current projects and the background behind her work. I try to keep an open mind about anything new in life, even something I may not fully understand. Because what if all of her hard-to-grasp concepts about energy and thought manifestation are true? I'm sure Columbus had a hard time convincing people the world was round.

I opened up a little bit about my job at the paper, my relationship with Jerry and my photography business. She talked a lot about destiny and that my being has opened up because this project was something I was meant to do.

To be honest, I'm not sure it necessarily feels like this was my destiny, but it sure makes a lot of sense. It's like all of my work and past experiences fit perfectly into being a portrait photographer. My love for meeting new people, the attention to detail, using my creativity and turning it all into art. It just feels right. And I do feel more open and alive since taking on this project.

If I had to boil her advice down, it would be as simple as the old adage, "Positive things happen to positive people." She said it only takes 17 seconds for a thought to manifest and have other similar thoughts join it and create an energy. And, when I think about it, that makes sense. When I'm brainstorming ideas, they seem to build and pick up speed exponentially. On the other hand, when I'm upset about something, it can quickly turn into dwelling and ruin my day if I let those thoughts take over.

And as far as getting what you want in life? Believe it will happen. And it will.

Perhaps that's why our meeting didn't shake me to the core because I already live each day that way. In the past few years, probably since meeting Jerry if I had to put a time element to it, things have just sort of fallen into place for me. I have a comfort that I'm where I'm supposed to be. And anything is attainable if I set my mind to it.

I know my business won't fail because I won't allow it.

And after mentioning that my aura's seven entry points were spinning counterclockwise -- an indication of creativity if I remember correctly -- she said things are going to happen for me much more quickly than I even anticipate.

I laughed because that's already the case. I'm only a few months in, and it feels like I couldn't have gotten this far if I had wished for it. It just took off because I was welcoming it.

Kim does the same. At one point she assuredly said, "When I'm on Oprah," and it didn't sound strange. I didn't think, "Yeah, right." Instead, I envisioned it right along with her.

She did give me some things to think about and work on. I'm going to write a few things down. Not only to solidify some of my thoughts about the financial end of the business, but also to manifest them.

I'm also going to try to allow myself to give up some control in certain aspects of my life. This is something I've struggled with as far back as I can remember. I hated group projects in grade school because I felt the need to take over and fix what I viewed as everyone else's shortcomings.

I'm a natural leader, but that also comes with the fear of letting go of responsibility. I hate not knowing. Not having my hands in every detail. But she said I'll be happier if I can learn to accept that other people around me are capable, too.

And she's right.

I'm glad I scheduled the appointment if for nothing else than reaffirming a lot of my beliefs. And Kim was a really amazing person to be around -- I'd love to have a beer with her and really shoot the shit sometime. Strangely enough, when I got in my car, I felt a very heavy weight settle in my chest that took awhile to dissipate.

I'm not sure why, but I have two hypotheses:

She mentioned a few times how she personally doesn't use a camera because she doesn't need to. She collects the essense of people. If that's the case, I wonder if I noticed that part of me was missing. The other and probably more likely scenerio is that it's because her energy was missing. It had been so uplifting to be around.


the_plainsman said...

Much excellent "stuff" here, Kelly, and I'm going to think a bit more about it today before I add more thoughts/comments beyond these: the words about positive energy are very true in all respects. But had to LOL when I read your thoughts about group projects, leadership, control and responsibility. I could have not written a better description of... myself!

Ray said...

Kim sounds like a great person and it sounds like you had a good time. I think it's so great that you feel comfortable with where you are at in your life and in your career. One day I hope that I can say the same.

It is also amazing on how fast your business is shooting up, with all those photo shoots. May many, many, more photo shoots and other wonderful opportunities come your way. Because you deserve it. ;o)

Also: we all have goals in life and I think that you have to "want it enough" in order to obtain it. If you don't care or if your heart is just not in it, "It's not going to happen."

Naomi said...

I've waited way too long to congratulate you on your new business, Kelly. As a grad student, I can say your decision to do something that didn't require additional formal schooling was brilliant! It's easy to see why you're doing so well--your pictures are amazing!

Your meeting with a life coach is very interesting, and I'm glad it was a positive experience for you. Some time ago I wrote an article about life coaches for a local glossy, but was a bit disturbed by what my research turned up. Many of the coaches I interviewed were licensed (LPC, LCSW, etc.) but didn't really want me to mention their formal education. In my research, I learned that many life coaches want no sort of licensure because they want no accountability to other professionals. (This was stated quite explicitly by one coach.)

Since my husband works at a psychiatric hospital where he must follow HIPPA guidelines and other ethical standards, I find this kind of free-range psuedo-therapy quite disturbing.

I had a sample session with one life coach who claimed to draw a clear line between her professional counseling and her coaching. BUT she got very personal with her questions and "advice" and I came home sobbing. She sent me flowers and an apology e-mail later, saying she was afraid it didn't turn out quite as I expected.

All that to say that by the nature of the profession, life coaches are certainly not cookie-cutter and I am in no position to comment on your experience. (You could also argue that plenty of licensed professionals don't let ethical guidelines infringe on their practices either.) But I was a little shocked at what I found--and then to make it all a bit worse, I had to write a chirpy article about it. That was a moment of cognitive dissonance!

Anyway, much success as you move forward with your work and family! I apologize for being a faithful lurker, but most of my blog reading is done with my 5-mo-old daughter in my arms, slowing down typing considerably. :)

Anonymous said...

I really liked this entry. Keep up the great work. :)